The bit about Sheila from accounting prompts a fun question for those LWers who subscribe to specific theories about gender relationships (PUA, feminism or whatever): within a couple, do you predict the events “husband cheats” and “wife cheats” to be independent, correlated or anticorrelated? To me it sounds like it could just as easily go one way or the other, and each answer has many rationalizations that immediately spring to mind. (Won’t spell them out to avoid spoiling your fun.)
Correlated, because time spent apart causes infidelity for both. Also, cultural norms make a difference, and both are exposed to the same culture.
Anti-correlated, because differences in libido causes a higher probability of infidelity on the part of whoever wants more sex, and a lower probability on the part of whoever wants less.
I’m not sure which of these I find more convincing.
Anticorrelated: Sheila’s attraction to Hubby implies Hubby has qualities which make him appealing to women, which makes Wifey less likely to cheat.
Correlated because cheating by one partner implies less mate-guarding by the other. A partner who doesn’t bother to mate guard is less concerned about losing that partner, and thus more likely to cheat.
Also both partners are more likely to cheat if the passion has died down in the relationship, or if they’re in the midst of a conflict.
The bit about Sheila from accounting prompts a fun question for those LWers who subscribe to specific theories about gender relationships (PUA, feminism or whatever): within a couple, do you predict the events “husband cheats” and “wife cheats” to be independent, correlated or anticorrelated? To me it sounds like it could just as easily go one way or the other, and each answer has many rationalizations that immediately spring to mind. (Won’t spell them out to avoid spoiling your fun.)
Correlated, because time spent apart causes infidelity for both. Also, cultural norms make a difference, and both are exposed to the same culture.
Anti-correlated, because differences in libido causes a higher probability of infidelity on the part of whoever wants more sex, and a lower probability on the part of whoever wants less.
I’m not sure which of these I find more convincing.
Anticorrelated: Sheila’s attraction to Hubby implies Hubby has qualities which make him appealing to women, which makes Wifey less likely to cheat.
Correlated because cheating by one partner implies less mate-guarding by the other. A partner who doesn’t bother to mate guard is less concerned about losing that partner, and thus more likely to cheat.
Also both partners are more likely to cheat if the passion has died down in the relationship, or if they’re in the midst of a conflict.