No matter how hard I try and kick it, there it is: Honesty.
Where in particular do you perceive the lie in the situation you described? Would her donation not have sponsored the child? Would the donation not have made her feel better? Or is that you do not believe she should feel better for sponsoring a child; that in your mind it would be dishonest for her to displace her current grief with this balm?
Of course if the donation would not have sponsored the child, then it would be dishonest to claim that it would.
I can also imagine the donation not actually making her feel better. It would be possible to simply overwhelm her (e.g., intimidate them with a whirlwind of emotional stimuli) into doing something she didn’t want to do. This is in the direction of being mean/bullyish. People can push boundaries and this is being pushy...but we don’t often describe it explicitly, perhaps because it requires such a high emotional intelligence to identify and name it.
Finally, the third case is that you don’t believe sponsoring children is a feel-good thing. Which would be a strong indication that that wasn’t the right job for you, but wouldn’t mean that sponsoring a child wasn’t the right thing for her.
I believe in not physically assaulting people. What does that have to do with being honest with them? Is it the ulteriority of your motive? I think it was clear that you were working for the charity, no? If you find a goal that benefits both you and me, are you interfering with my right to self-determination by telling me about it?
In my view, the biggest problem with continuing to influence her is one you having mentioned: she withdrew consent to be influenced. More in my longer response.
Where in particular do you perceive the lie in the situation you described? Would her donation not have sponsored the child? Would the donation not have made her feel better? Or is that you do not believe she should feel better for sponsoring a child; that in your mind it would be dishonest for her to displace her current grief with this balm?
Of course if the donation would not have sponsored the child, then it would be dishonest to claim that it would.
I can also imagine the donation not actually making her feel better. It would be possible to simply overwhelm her (e.g., intimidate them with a whirlwind of emotional stimuli) into doing something she didn’t want to do. This is in the direction of being mean/bullyish. People can push boundaries and this is being pushy...but we don’t often describe it explicitly, perhaps because it requires such a high emotional intelligence to identify and name it.
Finally, the third case is that you don’t believe sponsoring children is a feel-good thing. Which would be a strong indication that that wasn’t the right job for you, but wouldn’t mean that sponsoring a child wasn’t the right thing for her.
My objection: forcing myself onto somebody unexpectedly (door-to-door), and using techiniques they’re not prepared for, with an ulterior motive.
I believe in people’s right to self-determination; that includes the right to be depressed.
I meet someone standing on a bridge, thinking about jumping off. Can I try to persuade them not to jump?
Does the answer depend on whether or not I’m being paid by a suicide-prevention group?
I believe in not physically assaulting people. What does that have to do with being honest with them? Is it the ulteriority of your motive? I think it was clear that you were working for the charity, no? If you find a goal that benefits both you and me, are you interfering with my right to self-determination by telling me about it?
In my view, the biggest problem with continuing to influence her is one you having mentioned: she withdrew consent to be influenced. More in my longer response.