Incidentally, my personal model of an “ethical PUA” is Founding Father Gouverneur Morris, who told his lover, “I never lost respect for those who consented to make me happy on the principles of affection.”
Isn’t that kind of a low standard? I’m glad he doesn’t do slut-shaming, but I’m curious about what the women involved think about his effect on their lives.
I expect he’s said other things you’ve liked, but what you quoted is actually that unusual, it might enough by itself to explain why women are apt to be nervous around men.
Still, how common do you think it is for men to see women as lowering their own status by consenting to sex?
Depending on the social group somewhat less common than women lowering the status of others via judgement on that criteria—for most part it is women who are the more direct rivals with other women.
Incidentally, my personal model of an “ethical PUA” is Founding Father Gouverneur Morris, who told his lover, “I never lost respect for those who consented to make me happy on the principles of affection.”
Isn’t that kind of a low standard? I’m glad he doesn’t do slut-shaming, but I’m curious about what the women involved think about his effect on their lives.
I expect he’s said other things you’ve liked, but what you quoted is actually that unusual, it might enough by itself to explain why women are apt to be nervous around men.
If it helps, he lived in the 18th century—he was one of the framers of the U.S. Constitution.
Thanks—I didn’t bother to google, and your phrasing left it unclear about whether he was a Founding Father of the US or PUA.
Still, how common do you think it is for men to see women as lowering their own status by consenting to sex?
Still pretty common, unfortunately.
But I wouldn’t single out a contemporary man for praise just because he didn’t slut-shame. It’s more remarkable 250 years ago.
Depending on the social group somewhat less common than women lowering the status of others via judgement on that criteria—for most part it is women who are the more direct rivals with other women.
I wasn’t clear—I meant the specific case of a man lowering the status of a woman for consenting to sex with him.
Hamlet, Act IV, Scene V:
(Ophelia is singing bawdy songs)