I don’t understand which part you don’t understand. Part of the disagreement we’re hashing out here, as I understand it, is about how bad it is to do circling / NVC to someone without them having consented to it in advance (e.g. Val writing the last paragraph in that one comment above). My opinion on this issue is complicated but I’m willing to respect a Schelling fence erected around “let’s just not do it to people without their consent in general.”
There are certain standard cultural norms of how people talk in US society. Any deviation from those standard cultural norms requires consent by the other party.
Given that default cultural norms are driven by memetic evolution into a state that’s quite horrible, I don’t think that’s a good position.
Cultural norms that make people more connected with their felt sense lead to communications that are more likely to have good psychological effects.
Look, once again, the analogy to sex: there are certain standard cultural norms for how people flirt, have sex, etc. in US society. There are many reasons to disagree with these cultural norms. I am still not going to (substantially) deviate from them at someone without their consent, because I don’t get to decide for them what their boundaries are.
What exactly do you mean with that?
I don’t understand which part you don’t understand. Part of the disagreement we’re hashing out here, as I understand it, is about how bad it is to do circling / NVC to someone without them having consented to it in advance (e.g. Val writing the last paragraph in that one comment above). My opinion on this issue is complicated but I’m willing to respect a Schelling fence erected around “let’s just not do it to people without their consent in general.”
For me that position sounds like:
There are certain standard cultural norms of how people talk in US society. Any deviation from those standard cultural norms requires consent by the other party.
Given that default cultural norms are driven by memetic evolution into a state that’s quite horrible, I don’t think that’s a good position.
Cultural norms that make people more connected with their felt sense lead to communications that are more likely to have good psychological effects.
Look, once again, the analogy to sex: there are certain standard cultural norms for how people flirt, have sex, etc. in US society. There are many reasons to disagree with these cultural norms. I am still not going to (substantially) deviate from them at someone without their consent, because I don’t get to decide for them what their boundaries are.