they are trustworthy to the extent of my ability to model them and my confidence that they are not manipulating me.
If that’s the case then it’s your duty to be better at modelling them than they are at surprising you. If they surprise you more often than you model them as not manipulating you then you will be living in a horrible world built on your own unfortunate premises about how it works.
For the record “my ability to model them and my confidence that they are not manipulating me.” recently took a hell of an upgrade by taking on board NVC, circling and manymanymore (see those 3 links). And I don’t believe that many people are out to manipulate. It’s rare that anyone surprises me, and I feel very safe and comfortable constantly because I am a good model of the other people around me and their actions. I’d encourage you in the direction of scholarship. It’s very empowering to have the understanding of everyone else to feel more safe and in control.
And I don’t believe that many people are out to manipulate.
I think that would be a crux. Virtually everyone is out to manipulate almost everyone else, at all times. Much of the manipulation is subconscious, and observing that it is present is harshly socially punished. (cf. ialdabaoth/frustrateddemiurge/the living incarnation of David Monroe, PBUH).
If that’s the case then it’s your duty to be better at modelling them than they are at surprising you.
Doing that in full generality is literally impossible; it’s anti-inductive. It’s entirely a matter of what tolerances are acceptable. Treating most people as not giving a shit about me or anyone else, until clearly demonstrated otherwise, has predicted the world accurately up to this point.
If that’s the case then it’s your duty to be better at modelling them than they are at surprising you. If they surprise you more often than you model them as not manipulating you then you will be living in a horrible world built on your own unfortunate premises about how it works.
For the record “my ability to model them and my confidence that they are not manipulating me.” recently took a hell of an upgrade by taking on board NVC, circling and many many more (see those 3 links). And I don’t believe that many people are out to manipulate. It’s rare that anyone surprises me, and I feel very safe and comfortable constantly because I am a good model of the other people around me and their actions. I’d encourage you in the direction of scholarship. It’s very empowering to have the understanding of everyone else to feel more safe and in control.
I think that would be a crux. Virtually everyone is out to manipulate almost everyone else, at all times. Much of the manipulation is subconscious, and observing that it is present is harshly socially punished. (cf. ialdabaoth/frustrateddemiurge/the living incarnation of David Monroe, PBUH).
Doing that in full generality is literally impossible; it’s anti-inductive. It’s entirely a matter of what tolerances are acceptable. Treating most people as not giving a shit about me or anyone else, until clearly demonstrated otherwise, has predicted the world accurately up to this point.