I consider you to be bullying me. NVC and most related practice are morally-disguised bullying, a framework in which anyone who does not conform to the norm (and never mind the personal cost) is constantly socially attacked.
I trust both your intentions to be good here. But I’m going to step in and express some of my own preferences for this comment section.
@PDV I would like it if you took a break from commenting on my post for some reasonable time period, like, 24-48 hours.
@Valentine I prefer that you stop trying to have this conversation with PDV.
I obviously cannot do anything here but express my preferences, and I do not expect you guys to comply. I am just a person and stuff. But here I am, expressing them.
I did not see this comment until this moment (the comment display when there are more than 100 of them is really screwy). I will break off for the next day.
@Valentine I prefer that you stop trying to have this conversation with PDV.
Preference received. I appreciate you expressing it.
I’m happy to fulfill it, as long as I see that the cultural vision that I’m standing for is well-represented in the discussion. (Which isn’t a request or a threat. Just a description of the parameters that shape where I’m okay stepping back from this.)
I don’t know what cultural vision you’re wanting to be represented. I am hoping it doesn’t rely on the particular conversation with PDV, but if it does, I’d like to understand that. Feel free to elaborate. (To clarify I’m only requesting you to stop trying to talk to PDV, not commenting here in general.)
That’s very hard to answer here without implicitly continuing the conversation with PDV. Something something game theory something something. Happy to answer you in more detail privately.
I appreciate Unreal setting boundaries on their post. (Whether done via formal moderation policies or simple expressions of preference, this seems like a good thing for people to feel empowered to do)
I quite disagree—this is just the sort of thing that I am worried will become more common (and more enforceable) with the upcoming moderation changes.
I think my disgreement may come from fundamentally different notions of what posting to the front page of LW is—in my view, it’s starting a public conversation. That conversation might well move in a direction you don’t want, but that’s the way it is—and I don’t think the conversation starter should have any special rights, explicit or implicit, to control that conversation.
I want to be very clear that I don’t think Unreal is being all that rude or unreasonable with their request—and that’s in fact precisely why I’m worried! If the request were obviously cruel or foolish that would be one thing, but something like this might well become accepted—and I think if requests like this are accepted there may well be a chilling effect on the overall discourse here, and it will occur in a way that is quite hard to see in the moment.
FYI, I’m writing out a lengthier post about this sort of issue. The short answer is that not giving creators control over their spaces creates different chilling effects.
NVC and most related practice are morally-disguised bullying, a framework in which anyone who does not conform to the norm (and never mind the personal cost) is constantly socially attacked.
**Can you be more specific?
I can guess that there is going to be a problem here.
If you want to answer “no” then you take social penalty. In NVC the “no” would look like “An explanation of why I can’t answer”. Either that or you say yes, and give specifics. You will probably perceive that you are being cornered.
Feeling cornered here would be a symptom of not knowing how to say no. Here are some versions of saying no.
“I don’t know how to say no without taking social damage”.
“It’s not my job to tell you the specifics”.
“I don’t have time to tell you, and other comments are more important”
“no.”
The trouble with most of them is they are epistemically poor. If you expect to change something, the phrase “I don’t like this but I won’t explain why” isn’t very helpful.
I consider you to be bullying me. NVC and most related practice are morally-disguised bullying, a framework in which anyone who does not conform to the norm (and never mind the personal cost) is constantly socially attacked.
I trust both your intentions to be good here. But I’m going to step in and express some of my own preferences for this comment section.
@PDV I would like it if you took a break from commenting on my post for some reasonable time period, like, 24-48 hours.
@Valentine I prefer that you stop trying to have this conversation with PDV.
I obviously cannot do anything here but express my preferences, and I do not expect you guys to comply. I am just a person and stuff. But here I am, expressing them.
I did not see this comment until this moment (the comment display when there are more than 100 of them is really screwy). I will break off for the next day.
Preference received. I appreciate you expressing it.
I’m happy to fulfill it, as long as I see that the cultural vision that I’m standing for is well-represented in the discussion. (Which isn’t a request or a threat. Just a description of the parameters that shape where I’m okay stepping back from this.)
I don’t know what cultural vision you’re wanting to be represented. I am hoping it doesn’t rely on the particular conversation with PDV, but if it does, I’d like to understand that. Feel free to elaborate. (To clarify I’m only requesting you to stop trying to talk to PDV, not commenting here in general.)
That’s very hard to answer here without implicitly continuing the conversation with PDV. Something something game theory something something. Happy to answer you in more detail privately.
I appreciate Unreal setting boundaries on their post. (Whether done via formal moderation policies or simple expressions of preference, this seems like a good thing for people to feel empowered to do)
I quite disagree—this is just the sort of thing that I am worried will become more common (and more enforceable) with the upcoming moderation changes.
I think my disgreement may come from fundamentally different notions of what posting to the front page of LW is—in my view, it’s starting a public conversation. That conversation might well move in a direction you don’t want, but that’s the way it is—and I don’t think the conversation starter should have any special rights, explicit or implicit, to control that conversation.
I want to be very clear that I don’t think Unreal is being all that rude or unreasonable with their request—and that’s in fact precisely why I’m worried! If the request were obviously cruel or foolish that would be one thing, but something like this might well become accepted—and I think if requests like this are accepted there may well be a chilling effect on the overall discourse here, and it will occur in a way that is quite hard to see in the moment.
FYI, I’m writing out a lengthier post about this sort of issue. The short answer is that not giving creators control over their spaces creates different chilling effects.
I’m pretty sure that the standard Eliezer requires to post here is hostile to good epistemics.
**Can you be more specific?
I can guess that there is going to be a problem here.
If you want to answer “no” then you take social penalty. In NVC the “no” would look like “An explanation of why I can’t answer”. Either that or you say yes, and give specifics. You will probably perceive that you are being cornered.
Feeling cornered here would be a symptom of not knowing how to say no. Here are some versions of saying no.
“I don’t know how to say no without taking social damage”.
“It’s not my job to tell you the specifics”.
“I don’t have time to tell you, and other comments are more important”
“no.”
The trouble with most of them is they are epistemically poor. If you expect to change something, the phrase “I don’t like this but I won’t explain why” isn’t very helpful.
I think I’ve explained this in other subthreads.