I find the cultural relativity bit of this the most fascinating. I share your cultural context, and for most of my young life the personality preferences built into this culture felt like facts about the world. Agreeable people were just better, more likeable people, full stop.
After traveling a bit and reading about other cultures I’ve learned that’s not the case, but I still find it fascinating to attempt to “try on” different values. I often need to make an effort to steelman different preferences, as my default (negative) response to cultures/people with different values is so automatic!
I will say though, that I now have a few Dutch friends, and I’ve grown to love and value their brutal honesty. Their vibe reminds me a lot of your description of French disagreeableness, but with lower emotionality which makes it a slightly smaller gap to bridge from my own culture. I wonder if more exposure to cultures that differ on a single dimension might make it easier to “try on” different values. 🤔
Heh, I got the same feeling from the Dutch people I met. My ex wife once did a corporate training thing where they were learning about the power of “yes and” in improve and in working with others. She and one other European person (from Switzerland maybe?) were both kinda upset about it and decided to turn their improve into a “no but” version.
Ya I definitely took agreeableness == good as just an obvious fact until that relationship.
I find the cultural relativity bit of this the most fascinating. I share your cultural context, and for most of my young life the personality preferences built into this culture felt like facts about the world. Agreeable people were just better, more likeable people, full stop.
After traveling a bit and reading about other cultures I’ve learned that’s not the case, but I still find it fascinating to attempt to “try on” different values. I often need to make an effort to steelman different preferences, as my default (negative) response to cultures/people with different values is so automatic!
I will say though, that I now have a few Dutch friends, and I’ve grown to love and value their brutal honesty. Their vibe reminds me a lot of your description of French disagreeableness, but with lower emotionality which makes it a slightly smaller gap to bridge from my own culture. I wonder if more exposure to cultures that differ on a single dimension might make it easier to “try on” different values. 🤔
Heh, I got the same feeling from the Dutch people I met. My ex wife once did a corporate training thing where they were learning about the power of “yes and” in improve and in working with others. She and one other European person (from Switzerland maybe?) were both kinda upset about it and decided to turn their improve into a “no but” version.
Ya I definitely took agreeableness == good as just an obvious fact until that relationship.