A couple years ago, I identified as a feminist. When I heard someone argue against feminist views, I felt like my tribe was under attack. Sometimes I would get defensive, and even when I managed to stay reasonable, doing so was an unpleasant task that required effort.
Today, I am a person who agrees with most ideas that are part of the feminist consensus. This feels very, very different from the inside. I have an easier time approaching these debates on their merits, so I’ve changed my mind on a small number of issues. More importantly, I have a much, much easier time ignoring unproductive debates on the subject, i.e., I’ve squashed the “someone is wrong on the internet” urge in this particular context. If you ask me whether I’m a feminist, I’ll probably say “yes,” because that communicates the thing you wanted to know.
I sort of see what you’re saying, but are you sure with that change, you still want to respond “yes” to that question? My problem with responding with “yes” to something like that is that the person will end up criticizing me based one what he’s read of other people (who also call themselves by that label). The most I would ever do is say something like, “Yeah I find useful a lot of the stuff said in paleo circles.” That way they have an idea of where I stand, but they’ll be less likely to assume prematurely that I believe something I don’t.
Also, if someone assumes I’m some label, such as an “utilitarian”, if it does fit to some extent, I’ll say something like, “Well, I wouldn’t say that, but I guess some of my views are similar to other people who have called themselves that.” It does wonders for my ability to avoid people assuming I hold beliefs I don’t because of their interpretation of what other people who used that word thought. Also it makes it feel less like I have to defend other people in order to defend myself. I choose very selectively on what or who I endorse, and I phrase it carefully.
I’d recommend perhaps changing your tactic to answering that question with something like, “Well I do agree with a lot of what the feminist community says, especially what’s written by [name of whoever you think most represents your views].” That would be much safer, in my opinion. By this technique you may be able to get even better at updating than you already have with the first shift. Just a thought though.
(Another problem being that many labels or terms have tons of meanings, for example the term “utilitarian” referring to all sorts of different things; I’m sure the label “feminist” isn’t much different.)
A couple years ago, I identified as a feminist. When I heard someone argue against feminist views, I felt like my tribe was under attack. Sometimes I would get defensive, and even when I managed to stay reasonable, doing so was an unpleasant task that required effort.
Today, I am a person who agrees with most ideas that are part of the feminist consensus. This feels very, very different from the inside. I have an easier time approaching these debates on their merits, so I’ve changed my mind on a small number of issues. More importantly, I have a much, much easier time ignoring unproductive debates on the subject, i.e., I’ve squashed the “someone is wrong on the internet” urge in this particular context. If you ask me whether I’m a feminist, I’ll probably say “yes,” because that communicates the thing you wanted to know.
I sort of see what you’re saying, but are you sure with that change, you still want to respond “yes” to that question? My problem with responding with “yes” to something like that is that the person will end up criticizing me based one what he’s read of other people (who also call themselves by that label). The most I would ever do is say something like, “Yeah I find useful a lot of the stuff said in paleo circles.” That way they have an idea of where I stand, but they’ll be less likely to assume prematurely that I believe something I don’t.
Also, if someone assumes I’m some label, such as an “utilitarian”, if it does fit to some extent, I’ll say something like, “Well, I wouldn’t say that, but I guess some of my views are similar to other people who have called themselves that.” It does wonders for my ability to avoid people assuming I hold beliefs I don’t because of their interpretation of what other people who used that word thought. Also it makes it feel less like I have to defend other people in order to defend myself. I choose very selectively on what or who I endorse, and I phrase it carefully.
I’d recommend perhaps changing your tactic to answering that question with something like, “Well I do agree with a lot of what the feminist community says, especially what’s written by [name of whoever you think most represents your views].” That would be much safer, in my opinion. By this technique you may be able to get even better at updating than you already have with the first shift. Just a thought though.
(Another problem being that many labels or terms have tons of meanings, for example the term “utilitarian” referring to all sorts of different things; I’m sure the label “feminist” isn’t much different.)