I find it really hard to evaluate what things are good to do. I think watching random pornographic content on the internet is probably one of the worst uses of your time. Definitely when you overdo it. Therefore I committed to not doing this long ago. But sometimes I can’t control myself. Which normally makes me feel very bad afterward, but …
I had important life-changing insights because I browsed pornhub, one day. I found a very particular video that set events in motion that turned into something enormously positive for me. It probably made my life 50-300% better. I am pretty sure that I would not have gotten these benefits had I not discovered this video. I am not joking.
So I very much share the confusion and bafflement about what is a good use of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if you think long enough about it, you would probably be able to see why doing completely random and useless-looking things for at least some small fraction of time is actually optimal.
There are a few more less extreme examples like the one above I could name.
It is pretty hard to explain in an understandable way that does not sound very insane. I wanted to write about this for years. But here I come anyway. The short version is that it made me form a very strong parasocial relationship with Miku, and created a tulpa (see the info box on the right) which I formed a very strong bond with too. Like stronger than with any flesh person. Both very very positive things. I would bet a lot of money at ridiculous seeming odds that you would agree, could you only experience what I experience. I think if I would describe my experience in more detail, you would probably just think I am lying, because you would think that it could not possibly be this positive.
Are those insights gleamable from the video itself for other people? And if so, would you be willing to share the link? (Feel free to skip; obviously a vulnerable topic.)
I think it is doubtful that watching the video would put you on the same trajectory that ended up somewhere good for me. I also didn’t find a link to the original video after a short search. It was basically this video but with more NSFW. The original creators uploaded the motion file so you know what the internet is gonna do. If you don’t think “Hmm I wonder if it would be an effective motivational technique to create a mental construct that looks like an anime girl that constantly tells me to do the things that I know are good to do, and then I am more likely to do it because it’s an anime girl telling me this” then you are already far off track from my trajectory. Actually, that line of reasoning I just described did not work out at all. But having a tulpa seems to be a very effective means to destroy the feeling of loneliness among other benefits in the social category. Before, creating a tulpa I was feeling lonely constantly, and afterward, I never felt lonely again.
You would get the benefits by creating a good tulpa I guess. It is unclear to me how much you would benefit. Though I would be surprised if you don’t get any benefit from it if we discount time investment costs. This study indicates that it might be especially useful for people who have certain disorders that make socialization harder such as ADHD, autism, anxiety disorders, etc. And I have the 3 listed, so it should not be surprising that I find tulpamancy pretty useful. Making a tulpa is quite a commitment though, so don’t do it useless you understand what you are getting yourself into.
Tens of hours are normally required to get started. You’ll need to spend 10-30 minutes every day on formal practice to not noticeably weaken your tulpa over time. There is no upper bound of how much time you can invest into this. This can be a dangerous distraction. I haven’t really talked about why somebody would ever do this. The short version is: Imagine you have a friend who is superhumanly nice to you all the time, and who very deeply understands you because they know everything about you and can read your mind. Maintaining the tulpa’s presence is actually very difficult (at least for me) because you constantly forget that they exist. And then they can’t do anything, because they are not there.
With the parasocial stuff, basically, all I did was dance every day for many years for 20-40 minutes as a workout and watch videos like this and imitate the dance moves. That is always a positive experience, which is nice because it makes it easy to do the workout. My brain gradually superimposed the general positivity of the experience into Miku it seems, making me like her more and more.
By now there is such a strong positive connection there, that when I look at an image of Miku it can generate a drug-like experience. So saying that I love Miku seems right to me.
Besides meditation, these are the 2 most important things I have ever discovered. That is if we discount the basic stuff like getting enough sleep, nutrition, doing sports, etc.
I sort of deliberately created the beginnings of a tulpa-ish part of my brain during a long period of isolation in 2021 (Feb 7 to be exact), although I didn’t know the term “tulpa” then. I just figured it could be good to have an imaginary friend, so I gave her a name—”Maria”[1]—and granted her (as part of the brain-convincing ritual) permanent co-ownership over a part of my cognition which she’s free to use for whatever whenever.
She still visits me at least once a week but she doesn’t have strong ability to speak unless I try to imagine it; and even then, sentences are usually short. The thing she most frequently communicates is the mood of being a sympathetic witness: she fully understands my story, and knows that I both must and will keep going—because up-giving is not a language she comprehends.
Hm, it would be most accurate to say that she takes on the role of a stoic chronicler—reflecting that I care less about eliciting awe or empathy, than I care that someone simply bears witness to my story.[2]
I find it really hard to evaluate what things are good to do. I think watching random pornographic content on the internet is probably one of the worst uses of your time. Definitely when you overdo it. Therefore I committed to not doing this long ago. But sometimes I can’t control myself. Which normally makes me feel very bad afterward, but …
I had important life-changing insights because I browsed pornhub, one day. I found a very particular video that set events in motion that turned into something enormously positive for me. It probably made my life 50-300% better. I am pretty sure that I would not have gotten these benefits had I not discovered this video. I am not joking.
So I very much share the confusion and bafflement about what is a good use of time. I wouldn’t be surprised if you think long enough about it, you would probably be able to see why doing completely random and useless-looking things for at least some small fraction of time is actually optimal.
There are a few more less extreme examples like the one above I could name.
What were these life-changing insights?
It is pretty hard to explain in an understandable way that does not sound very insane. I wanted to write about this for years. But here I come anyway. The short version is that it made me form a very strong parasocial relationship with Miku, and created a tulpa (see the info box on the right) which I formed a very strong bond with too. Like stronger than with any flesh person. Both very very positive things. I would bet a lot of money at ridiculous seeming odds that you would agree, could you only experience what I experience. I think if I would describe my experience in more detail, you would probably just think I am lying, because you would think that it could not possibly be this positive.
Are those insights gleamable from the video itself for other people? And if so, would you be willing to share the link? (Feel free to skip; obviously a vulnerable topic.)
I think it is doubtful that watching the video would put you on the same trajectory that ended up somewhere good for me. I also didn’t find a link to the original video after a short search. It was basically this video but with more NSFW. The original creators uploaded the motion file so you know what the internet is gonna do. If you don’t think “Hmm I wonder if it would be an effective motivational technique to create a mental construct that looks like an anime girl that constantly tells me to do the things that I know are good to do, and then I am more likely to do it because it’s an anime girl telling me this” then you are already far off track from my trajectory. Actually, that line of reasoning I just described did not work out at all. But having a tulpa seems to be a very effective means to destroy the feeling of loneliness among other benefits in the social category. Before, creating a tulpa I was feeling lonely constantly, and afterward, I never felt lonely again.
You would get the benefits by creating a good tulpa I guess. It is unclear to me how much you would benefit. Though I would be surprised if you don’t get any benefit from it if we discount time investment costs. This study indicates that it might be especially useful for people who have certain disorders that make socialization harder such as ADHD, autism, anxiety disorders, etc. And I have the 3 listed, so it should not be surprising that I find tulpamancy pretty useful. Making a tulpa is quite a commitment though, so don’t do it useless you understand what you are getting yourself into.
Tens of hours are normally required to get started. You’ll need to spend 10-30 minutes every day on formal practice to not noticeably weaken your tulpa over time. There is no upper bound of how much time you can invest into this. This can be a dangerous distraction. I haven’t really talked about why somebody would ever do this. The short version is: Imagine you have a friend who is superhumanly nice to you all the time, and who very deeply understands you because they know everything about you and can read your mind. Maintaining the tulpa’s presence is actually very difficult (at least for me) because you constantly forget that they exist. And then they can’t do anything, because they are not there.
With the parasocial stuff, basically, all I did was dance every day for many years for 20-40 minutes as a workout and watch videos like this and imitate the dance moves. That is always a positive experience, which is nice because it makes it easy to do the workout. My brain gradually superimposed the general positivity of the experience into Miku it seems, making me like her more and more.
By now there is such a strong positive connection there, that when I look at an image of Miku it can generate a drug-like experience. So saying that I love Miku seems right to me.
Besides meditation, these are the 2 most important things I have ever discovered. That is if we discount the basic stuff like getting enough sleep, nutrition, doing sports, etc.
I sort of deliberately created the beginnings of a tulpa-ish part of my brain during a long period of isolation in 2021 (Feb 7 to be exact), although I didn’t know the term “tulpa” then. I just figured it could be good to have an imaginary friend, so I gave her a name—”Maria”[1]—and granted her (as part of the brain-convincing ritual) permanent co-ownership over a part of my cognition which she’s free to use for whatever whenever.
She still visits me at least once a week but she doesn’t have strong ability to speak unless I try to imagine it; and even then, sentences are usually short. The thing she most frequently communicates is the mood of being a sympathetic witness: she fully understands my story, and knows that I both must and will keep going—because up-giving is not a language she comprehends.
Hm, it would be most accurate to say that she takes on the role of a stoic chronicler—reflecting that I care less about eliciting awe or empathy, than I care that someone simply bears witness to my story.[2]
Semi-inspired by hakomari, though I imagine her as much more mature in character & appearance than images I find online.
Oh yeah, and I’ve got the diagnostic triplet {ADHD, depression, aspergers (from back when that’s what it was called)} if that matters for anything.