Are they saying that they don’t want to be rational, or just not emotionless? I think that people do want to be rational, in some sense, when dealing with emotions, but they’re just never going to have interest in, say, Kahneman and Tversky , or other formal theory. I’ve noticed that some women I know have read “He’s Just Not That Into You”, which from how they describe it, sounds like strategies on rationally dealing with strong emotions. I know it sounds hokey, but people have read that book and were able to put their emotions in a different light when it comes to romantic relationships. I couldn’t tell you if the advice was good or not, but I think it does sound like there’s at least an audience for what you’re talking about.
People don’t want to go through the formal processes of being rational in many emotional situations (and they are often right not to). I think letting people know that sometimes its rational not to go through the formal routes, because the outcome will be better if they don’t (and it’s rational to want the best outcome). For example, if you just met a person you might want a relationship with, don’t make said person fill out a questionairre and subject them to a pros-cons list of starting said relationship (I know this sounds absurd, but I know someone who did just this to all her boyfriends. Perhaps fittingly she ended up engaged to an impotent Husserlian phenomenologist twice her age.)
Usually they seem to think that being rational is the same as being emotionless, despite my efforts to convince them otherwise. I think this may again be thanks largely to that dreaded Mr. Spock.
Just keep saying (with your voice clearly pained, no need to hide the feeling) “ugh… Spock, or vulcans in general, are NOT rational. They are what silly not so rational scriptwriters imagine rationality to be”, I guess?
You both agree that being spocklike is bad, so instead of fighting with those connotations, just try to point out that theres a third alternative and why it’s better.
Are they saying that they don’t want to be rational, or just not emotionless? I think that people do want to be rational, in some sense, when dealing with emotions, but they’re just never going to have interest in, say, Kahneman and Tversky , or other formal theory. I’ve noticed that some women I know have read “He’s Just Not That Into You”, which from how they describe it, sounds like strategies on rationally dealing with strong emotions. I know it sounds hokey, but people have read that book and were able to put their emotions in a different light when it comes to romantic relationships. I couldn’t tell you if the advice was good or not, but I think it does sound like there’s at least an audience for what you’re talking about.
People don’t want to go through the formal processes of being rational in many emotional situations (and they are often right not to). I think letting people know that sometimes its rational not to go through the formal routes, because the outcome will be better if they don’t (and it’s rational to want the best outcome). For example, if you just met a person you might want a relationship with, don’t make said person fill out a questionairre and subject them to a pros-cons list of starting said relationship (I know this sounds absurd, but I know someone who did just this to all her boyfriends. Perhaps fittingly she ended up engaged to an impotent Husserlian phenomenologist twice her age.)
Usually they seem to think that being rational is the same as being emotionless, despite my efforts to convince them otherwise. I think this may again be thanks largely to that dreaded Mr. Spock.
Just keep saying (with your voice clearly pained, no need to hide the feeling) “ugh… Spock, or vulcans in general, are NOT rational. They are what silly not so rational scriptwriters imagine rationality to be”, I guess?
I’d try playing taboo with the word “rational”.
You both agree that being spocklike is bad, so instead of fighting with those connotations, just try to point out that theres a third alternative and why it’s better.