This seems like a pretty good example of what I was talking about in my reply to the OP. You gave a significant disadvantage, but then a great advantage to even it out. As always, it’s socially easier to sell an identity that’s a well-balanced bundle of strengths and weaknesses than it is to go around claiming to be 100% awesome.
It may also be important to point out that with each pair, the drawback tends to be more mundane (clumsy, bad at socializing, etc.), and the benefit is usually something much more “majestic” (can’t think of a good word for this, but it’s usually something that has less to do with our “material” existence and more to do with philosophizing, thinking, and so on).
For the utility function of the speaker or his intended audience, the drawback tends to be much less damaging than the benefit is helpful (e.g., “who cares about my athletic ability? we live in a world dominated by intellectuals!”), but for the purpose of signaling, the pairs tend to sound as if they are related enough to balance each other out. In your comment, the disadvantage was “incredibly poor memory regarding spatial relations”, and the advantage was “my verbal and visual memory are superb”.
They sound like they balance each other out, but of course the point is that the former is a much more “base” incompetence, and the second is what’s much more useful in this day and age—one dominated not by strong, sturdy hunter-gatherers or traditional farmers, but by physically clumsy academics and scientists.
To cut this short, I should close by saying that the test for whether or not you’re engaged in destructive social signaling is simple: Are you disturbed by your “incredibly poor memory regarding spatial relations”, or have you simply welcomed it as a part of your identity? Has your awareness of this fact impelled you to try to fix it, or have you let it linger uncontested?
For reference, if I personally had that problem, I would be reacting something like this: “WTF IS GOING ON?? I MUST FIX THIS.” Or at the very least, I certainly wouldn’t accept it as a fun aspect of my identity.
It is a royal pain in the ass, and I certainly don’t view it as some sort of adorable quirk. It hinders my social life and occasionally makes me feel completely incompetent. Getting lost when you’re on your own is one thing, but getting lost with a date is a completely different level of embarrassment. I’m not sure where you got the idea that I think this is some sort of “fun aspect” of my personality, it’s a patch of uselessness in my brain which I have to work around all the time. The reason I pointed out some positive characteristics was because this was a thread about neural irregularities, and a person who had poor spatial memory and sucked in other areas too would just be stupid, not that interesting at all. Maybe I could have just talked about my spatial memory problems, I guess, but I thought that detail seemed pertinent. It wasn’t like I spent very long talking about my positives, only 27 words out of 154 dealt with the positive characteristics mentioned. While signalling influences what we do, not everything is signalling by necessity. For instance, I could say that here, and in your earlier reply, you are attempting to set yourself apart from the group as a contrarian, attempting to score yourself some sweet, sweet internet status as a free thinker. Also, just for fun, some of the methods I am using to “FIX THIS” and their relative success.
1: Practice getting lost, find way back to set points. I intentionally leave one of my paths (GPS in my car in case I fail), and drive off into side streets, making essentially random turns. Then, I try to get back to my path. So far, I have had incredibly limited success with this method. I usually end up having to arbitrarily choose turns until I pop back onto the main road, but often even when I make it back without GPS assistance, it is not because I knew where I was, but because I got lucky. I haven’t seen any real improvement in this area.
2: Map study. I look at maps of the area, identify main roads, and then try to get places. It doesn’t work. While it’s better than going blind, I end up missing most of the visual cues needed to get anywhere. I’ve had to use this method mostly in live fire situations when I couldn’t get my GPS, and four times out of five I’ve had to pull over and call for directions. When I have a map with me, I can get there, but I’ll make several wrong turns and have to return to the correct path multiple times.
3: Avoiding the problem through assistance. My GPS is wonderful. I love it so much, and it loves me. I can get places, and it is able to help even after I’ve ignored its sage advice and made an incorrect turn due to operator error or traffic factors. A passenger who knows where they are going is around equivalent in terms of usefulness. However, these only help me when I’m with other people or in a car. In situations where I am on foot and alone, I give myself significant amounts of time to get to my destinations, because I will probably get lost (Planning fallacy means I am occasionally late anyway).
By all means, suggest how I can fix this issue. I don’t mean that in a passive aggressive way (maybe a little, I’m a bit annoyed), it’d be nice to hear some alternative strategies. I want to be awesome, smart is better than stupid in all areas, and I want to be better. I have changed things about myself before, but this trait is annoying and persistent.
It is a royal pain in the ass, and I certainly don’t view it as some sort of adorable quirk. It hinders my social life and occasionally makes me feel completely incompetent. Getting lost when you’re on your own is one thing, but getting lost with a date is a completely different level of embarrassment. I’m not sure where you got the idea that I think this is some sort of “fun aspect” of my personality, it’s a patch of uselessness in my brain which I have to work around all the time.
Well then you’re probably not engaged in the sort of destructive social signaling I was talking about.
The reason I pointed out some positive characteristics was because this was a thread about neural irregularities, and a person who had poor spatial memory and sucked in other areas too would just be stupid, not that interesting at all.
I see.
Maybe I could have just talked about my spatial memory problems, I guess, but I thought that detail seemed pertinent. It wasn’t like I spent very long talking about my positives, only 27 words out of 154 dealt with the positive characteristics mentioned.
I don’t see how the word count is relevant.
While signalling influences what we do, not everything is signalling by necessity. For instance, I could say that here, and in your earlier reply, you are attempting to set yourself apart from the group as a contrarian, attempting to score yourself some sweet, sweet internet status as a free thinker.
Could be.
By all means, suggest how I can fix this issue. I don’t mean that in a passive aggressive way (maybe a little, I’m a bit annoyed), it’d be nice to hear some alternative strategies. I want to be awesome, smart is better than stupid in all areas, and I want to be better. I have changed things about myself before, but this trait is annoying and persistent.
Because your direct attempts to fix the problem have consistently failed over a long period of time, I would suggest perhaps switching to a somewhat more indirect approach.
What about getting into some sport or activity that requires a strong memory of spatial relations, and then spend some time optimizing your diet and lifestyle for it?
(I may be able to offer more suggestions and ones of higher detail, but I would probably have to know more about your diet, exercise routine, whether you’re any good at any sports, etc.)
This seems like a pretty good example of what I was talking about in my reply to the OP. You gave a significant disadvantage, but then a great advantage to even it out. As always, it’s socially easier to sell an identity that’s a well-balanced bundle of strengths and weaknesses than it is to go around claiming to be 100% awesome.
It may also be important to point out that with each pair, the drawback tends to be more mundane (clumsy, bad at socializing, etc.), and the benefit is usually something much more “majestic” (can’t think of a good word for this, but it’s usually something that has less to do with our “material” existence and more to do with philosophizing, thinking, and so on).
For the utility function of the speaker or his intended audience, the drawback tends to be much less damaging than the benefit is helpful (e.g., “who cares about my athletic ability? we live in a world dominated by intellectuals!”), but for the purpose of signaling, the pairs tend to sound as if they are related enough to balance each other out. In your comment, the disadvantage was “incredibly poor memory regarding spatial relations”, and the advantage was “my verbal and visual memory are superb”.
They sound like they balance each other out, but of course the point is that the former is a much more “base” incompetence, and the second is what’s much more useful in this day and age—one dominated not by strong, sturdy hunter-gatherers or traditional farmers, but by physically clumsy academics and scientists.
To cut this short, I should close by saying that the test for whether or not you’re engaged in destructive social signaling is simple: Are you disturbed by your “incredibly poor memory regarding spatial relations”, or have you simply welcomed it as a part of your identity? Has your awareness of this fact impelled you to try to fix it, or have you let it linger uncontested?
For reference, if I personally had that problem, I would be reacting something like this: “WTF IS GOING ON?? I MUST FIX THIS.” Or at the very least, I certainly wouldn’t accept it as a fun aspect of my identity.
It is a royal pain in the ass, and I certainly don’t view it as some sort of adorable quirk. It hinders my social life and occasionally makes me feel completely incompetent. Getting lost when you’re on your own is one thing, but getting lost with a date is a completely different level of embarrassment. I’m not sure where you got the idea that I think this is some sort of “fun aspect” of my personality, it’s a patch of uselessness in my brain which I have to work around all the time. The reason I pointed out some positive characteristics was because this was a thread about neural irregularities, and a person who had poor spatial memory and sucked in other areas too would just be stupid, not that interesting at all. Maybe I could have just talked about my spatial memory problems, I guess, but I thought that detail seemed pertinent. It wasn’t like I spent very long talking about my positives, only 27 words out of 154 dealt with the positive characteristics mentioned. While signalling influences what we do, not everything is signalling by necessity. For instance, I could say that here, and in your earlier reply, you are attempting to set yourself apart from the group as a contrarian, attempting to score yourself some sweet, sweet internet status as a free thinker. Also, just for fun, some of the methods I am using to “FIX THIS” and their relative success.
1: Practice getting lost, find way back to set points. I intentionally leave one of my paths (GPS in my car in case I fail), and drive off into side streets, making essentially random turns. Then, I try to get back to my path. So far, I have had incredibly limited success with this method. I usually end up having to arbitrarily choose turns until I pop back onto the main road, but often even when I make it back without GPS assistance, it is not because I knew where I was, but because I got lucky. I haven’t seen any real improvement in this area.
2: Map study. I look at maps of the area, identify main roads, and then try to get places. It doesn’t work. While it’s better than going blind, I end up missing most of the visual cues needed to get anywhere. I’ve had to use this method mostly in live fire situations when I couldn’t get my GPS, and four times out of five I’ve had to pull over and call for directions. When I have a map with me, I can get there, but I’ll make several wrong turns and have to return to the correct path multiple times.
3: Avoiding the problem through assistance. My GPS is wonderful. I love it so much, and it loves me. I can get places, and it is able to help even after I’ve ignored its sage advice and made an incorrect turn due to operator error or traffic factors. A passenger who knows where they are going is around equivalent in terms of usefulness. However, these only help me when I’m with other people or in a car. In situations where I am on foot and alone, I give myself significant amounts of time to get to my destinations, because I will probably get lost (Planning fallacy means I am occasionally late anyway).
By all means, suggest how I can fix this issue. I don’t mean that in a passive aggressive way (maybe a little, I’m a bit annoyed), it’d be nice to hear some alternative strategies. I want to be awesome, smart is better than stupid in all areas, and I want to be better. I have changed things about myself before, but this trait is annoying and persistent.
Well then you’re probably not engaged in the sort of destructive social signaling I was talking about.
I see.
I don’t see how the word count is relevant.
Could be.
Because your direct attempts to fix the problem have consistently failed over a long period of time, I would suggest perhaps switching to a somewhat more indirect approach.
What about getting into some sport or activity that requires a strong memory of spatial relations, and then spend some time optimizing your diet and lifestyle for it?
(I may be able to offer more suggestions and ones of higher detail, but I would probably have to know more about your diet, exercise routine, whether you’re any good at any sports, etc.)