If I’m being honest (and I do hope that that is what you asked for) then I’d like to mention that personally I didn’t really enjoy the story above. The idea of self-aware characters sounds awesome, but I was a bit disturbed by the fact that the main character was named after Eliezer Yudkowsky. Making brilliant characters with nigh-impossible rationality skills is fine (and lots of fun to read!), but this seems to cross that subtle border between interesting fanfic and uncomfortable devotion. My did-I-just-join-a-cult-sensor is going off. I think changing the name of Harry Potter-Yudkowsky would be a good idea.
The above is a bit exaggerated, I’d still read the story and enjoy it if you kept the name. But the initial flinch was real.
If I’m being honest (and I do hope that that is what you asked for) then I’d like to mention that personally I didn’t really enjoy the story above. The idea of self-aware characters sounds awesome, but I was a bit disturbed by the fact that the main character was named after Eliezer Yudkowsky. Making brilliant characters with nigh-impossible rationality skills is fine (and lots of fun to read!), but this seems to cross that subtle border between interesting fanfic and uncomfortable devotion. My did-I-just-join-a-cult-sensor is going off. I think changing the name of Harry Potter-Yudkowsky would be a good idea.
The above is a bit exaggerated, I’d still read the story and enjoy it if you kept the name. But the initial flinch was real.
Try this.
Wow, I loved it!
Or this.