In the consequentialism piece, one of your examples illustrating consequentialism refers to TDT. I think examples need to be simpler than the point you’re trying to make—referencing more complicated ideas should be avoided if possible. Of course, nearly everyone here will understand you, but we wouldn’t be able to link our facebook friends to the piece; there’s too much of an inferential gap. Writing is more powerful when the examples are viscerally obvious.
Your point was fairly simple and should be understandable by anyone who knows what consequentialism is, but the writing was probably understandable only to LW readers. You don’t need to supply a level 10 argument in the first post introducing a level 5 point, just because it’s written for level 10 readers; doing so makes it inaccessible for level 4 readers who otherwise would be able to appreciate a level 5 point. It’s OK to wait for people to actually object before answering their objections.
ETA: You have to ruthlessly go through your writing and remove everything in it that doesn’t take your reader to your conclusion in a direct, easily understandable route. This may mean not saying something that you really want to say. This is hard for me. Only very high-level writers can reliably pull off meandering or non-direct routes to their points.
In the consequentialism piece, one of your examples illustrating consequentialism refers to TDT. I think examples need to be simpler than the point you’re trying to make—referencing more complicated ideas should be avoided if possible. Of course, nearly everyone here will understand you, but we wouldn’t be able to link our facebook friends to the piece; there’s too much of an inferential gap. Writing is more powerful when the examples are viscerally obvious.
Your point was fairly simple and should be understandable by anyone who knows what consequentialism is, but the writing was probably understandable only to LW readers. You don’t need to supply a level 10 argument in the first post introducing a level 5 point, just because it’s written for level 10 readers; doing so makes it inaccessible for level 4 readers who otherwise would be able to appreciate a level 5 point. It’s OK to wait for people to actually object before answering their objections.
ETA: You have to ruthlessly go through your writing and remove everything in it that doesn’t take your reader to your conclusion in a direct, easily understandable route. This may mean not saying something that you really want to say. This is hard for me. Only very high-level writers can reliably pull off meandering or non-direct routes to their points.
This is an excellent critique. Thanks!