Don’t ask what they do.In the US in my experience, the most common question upon meeting someone is “what do you do?” But the problem with this is that while 65% of Americans are satisfied with their jobs, only 20% of Americans are passionate about their work. From Lowndes:
If you instead ask, “How do you enjoy spending most of your time?” It allows people to mention their job or their hobbies. And homemakers are no longer embarrassed to say, “I’m just a mom” to the question of “what do you do?”
(2) From Dale Carnegie’s book:
Never disagree and say “you’re wrong”. I am a naturally disagreeable person. Learning about this technique hasn’t made me more agreeable, I just express my disagreement differently now. From Carnegie:
Never announce, “I am going to prove so-and-so to you.” That’s bad. That’s tantamount to saying: “I am smarter than you are and am going to make you change your mind.”
“We sometimes find ourselves changing our minds without any resistance; but if we are told we are wrong, we resent the imputation and harden our hearts. We are heedless in the formation of our beliefs, but find ourselves filled with a passion for them when anyone proposes to rob us of their companionship. It is obviously not the ideas themselves that are dear to us, but our self-esteem which is threatened.”—James Harvey Robinson
I’ve adopted a more indirect way of challenging people’s beliefs. Rather than stating my disagreement, I tend to ask questions (à la the Socratic Method) to get to the root of somebody’s belief. Sometimes they’ll notice contradictions in their own arguments without me having to point them out.
Could you summarize a few? :)
Sure! Here are two of my favorites.
(1) From Leil Lowndes’ book:
Don’t ask what they do. In the US in my experience, the most common question upon meeting someone is “what do you do?” But the problem with this is that while 65% of Americans are satisfied with their jobs, only 20% of Americans are passionate about their work. From Lowndes:
(2) From Dale Carnegie’s book:
Never disagree and say “you’re wrong”. I am a naturally disagreeable person. Learning about this technique hasn’t made me more agreeable, I just express my disagreement differently now. From Carnegie:
I’ve adopted a more indirect way of challenging people’s beliefs. Rather than stating my disagreement, I tend to ask questions (à la the Socratic Method) to get to the root of somebody’s belief. Sometimes they’ll notice contradictions in their own arguments without me having to point them out.