This is not intended to be snarky or backhanded or anything. You did ask for insights.
It sounds like you’re seeking some kind of complex justification to do something that you want to do anyway. Currently your reasons are not-necessarily-rational and maybe not fully consciously acknowledged, but you feel the desire/compulsion anyway. I say just go ahead and do what your gut is suggesting, while keeping in mind that you can always back. This isn’t an irrevocable decision, so you lose almost nothing for trying.
This is not intended to be snarky or backhanded or anything. You did ask for insights.
It sounds like you’re seeking some kind of complex justification to do something that you want to do anyway. Currently your reasons are not-necessarily-rational and maybe not fully consciously acknowledged, but you feel the desire/compulsion anyway. I say just go ahead and do what your gut is suggesting, while keeping in mind that you can always back. This isn’t an irrevocable decision, so you lose almost nothing for trying.
There is probably some of that going on. More potent nootropics have long been a kind of forbidden fruit to me.