“You need to get a good job and learn how to dress well, or else no woman will want to marry you.”
I would endorse giving this advice if I thought marriage was a good deal for men. Currently I plan to strongly advise my future sons against marriage. I’m unsure whether to advise my daugthers to marry or not, since it will give them greater power over their partners which may destablize such relationships.
I think its pretty crappy that cohabitation laws are now basically converging with marriage laws. I wish there was a “state please get your grubby hands out of my romantic relationships” wavier I could sign.
Currently I plan to strongly advise my future sons against marriage.
While it makes sense to explicate the current gender disparity in the legal practice once your male hetero children are of the relevant age, brainwashing them (that’s how I interpret “strongly advise” coming from a (future) parent) in any area is generally a bad idea. The best parents can do is to give their children the tools to make optimal decisions and then watch them screw up and stumble regardless, but hopefully not as painfully.
I meant strongly advise as in educate on the risks and benefits. Though to be perfectly honest I don’t see much of a difference between “brainwashing” and “educating”.
I’ve personally been mildly amused at the arbitrary distinctions that people make between “education/socialization” and “brainwashing”. Generally, I find that the later term is used for influence that is percieved as low status or otherwise not socially acceptable.
I wish there was a “state please get your grubby hands out of my romantic relationships” wavier I could sign.
Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t most 1st world people? As paranoid as I am of “Freedom of contract” and hidden exploitation, I would certainly want less paternalism in everything pertaining to sex.
I would endorse giving this advice if I thought marriage was a good deal for men. Currently I plan to strongly advise my future sons against marriage. I’m unsure whether to advise my daugthers to marry or not, since it will give them greater power over their partners which may destablize such relationships.
I think its pretty crappy that cohabitation laws are now basically converging with marriage laws. I wish there was a “state please get your grubby hands out of my romantic relationships” wavier I could sign.
I’m curious about (a) your present age, and (b) how old you expect to be by the time you’re advising your children about these things.
a) early 20s b) 40s
Obviously much can change in 20 years.
While it makes sense to explicate the current gender disparity in the legal practice once your male hetero children are of the relevant age, brainwashing them (that’s how I interpret “strongly advise” coming from a (future) parent) in any area is generally a bad idea. The best parents can do is to give their children the tools to make optimal decisions and then watch them screw up and stumble regardless, but hopefully not as painfully.
I meant strongly advise as in educate on the risks and benefits. Though to be perfectly honest I don’t see much of a difference between “brainwashing” and “educating”.
I educate, you inform, he brainwashes.
I’ve personally been mildly amused at the arbitrary distinctions that people make between “education/socialization” and “brainwashing”. Generally, I find that the later term is used for influence that is percieved as low status or otherwise not socially acceptable.
Does this imply that you favor (or at least are neutral about) long term relationships, but are opposed to marriage?
Do you think marriage itself is a bad deal for men, or do the problems mostly show up with divorce?
Altering the structure of divorce alters the payoff-matrix for behaviors inside the marriage itself.
Yeah, sure. Wouldn’t most 1st world people? As paranoid as I am of “Freedom of contract” and hidden exploitation, I would certainly want less paternalism in everything pertaining to sex.