Initially it was a shock to my wife, but I took things very slowly as far as dropping practices. This helped a lot and basically I do whatever I want now (3.5 years later). Also transferred my kids to a good public school out of yeshiva. My wife remains nominally religious, it might take another 10 years :)
My kids don’s speak Russian—my wife is American-born. I prefer English myself, so I’m not “unhappy” about them not speaking Russian in particular although I’d prefer them to be bilingual in general. They read a bit of Hebrew.
So glad to hear you got your kids out of yeshiva. Way to go!
Did you meet your wife via shidduch or more traditionally? If you ever did shidduch: I’m curious if in the orthodox circles in the US a Baal Teshuva faces a tougher challenge in shidduch than someone who grew up in a frum family. This is very much the case in Israel. Here I’ve heard tales of severe discrimination and essentially second-class status.
What’s the attitude in orthodox circles towards Conservative/Reform Jews? (not the official one, but the “on the street” sort of thing, if it exists...). Is there any dialogue between the branches at all? (As you probably know, Conservative/Reform barely exist in Israel).
Met my wife through a Shidduch, though the Shadchan was my friend and both of us were BTs, so it wasn’t quite Fiddler on the Roof. The BT thing made my transition out easier, now my in-laws love me even more :).
I attended a modern and strangely rationalist Yeshiva—they really attempted to reconcile Torah with modern science ala Maimonides. I just concluded you can’t pull that off in the end. The attitude to conservatives there was “well, they’re wrong, but let’s not make this personal”, mostly treating them as “tinock shenishbh”. The guy who started it was mostly a nice guy, and he used most of the allowed vitriol to attack the stupidity and superstition of the right. I can’t speak for other yeshivot or sects from personal experience, but I imagine this was somewhat unusual.
Funny—my biological father’s last name was Vorobyev. I guess that makes us cousins :-p
Is your wife still teaching your kids religion? How do you work out conflicts with your wife over religious issues (I assume she insists on a kosher kitchen, wants the kids to learn Jewish values etc)
Hi Anatoly,
Initially it was a shock to my wife, but I took things very slowly as far as dropping practices. This helped a lot and basically I do whatever I want now (3.5 years later). Also transferred my kids to a good public school out of yeshiva. My wife remains nominally religious, it might take another 10 years :)
My kids don’s speak Russian—my wife is American-born. I prefer English myself, so I’m not “unhappy” about them not speaking Russian in particular although I’d prefer them to be bilingual in general. They read a bit of Hebrew.
I’m happy to discuss my HFA kid via PM.
So glad to hear you got your kids out of yeshiva. Way to go!
Did you meet your wife via shidduch or more traditionally? If you ever did shidduch: I’m curious if in the orthodox circles in the US a Baal Teshuva faces a tougher challenge in shidduch than someone who grew up in a frum family. This is very much the case in Israel. Here I’ve heard tales of severe discrimination and essentially second-class status.
What’s the attitude in orthodox circles towards Conservative/Reform Jews? (not the official one, but the “on the street” sort of thing, if it exists...). Is there any dialogue between the branches at all? (As you probably know, Conservative/Reform barely exist in Israel).
Met my wife through a Shidduch, though the Shadchan was my friend and both of us were BTs, so it wasn’t quite Fiddler on the Roof. The BT thing made my transition out easier, now my in-laws love me even more :).
I attended a modern and strangely rationalist Yeshiva—they really attempted to reconcile Torah with modern science ala Maimonides. I just concluded you can’t pull that off in the end. The attitude to conservatives there was “well, they’re wrong, but let’s not make this personal”, mostly treating them as “tinock shenishbh”. The guy who started it was mostly a nice guy, and he used most of the allowed vitriol to attack the stupidity and superstition of the right. I can’t speak for other yeshivot or sects from personal experience, but I imagine this was somewhat unusual.
Funny—my biological father’s last name was Vorobyev. I guess that makes us cousins :-p
Is your wife still teaching your kids religion? How do you work out conflicts with your wife over religious issues (I assume she insists on a kosher kitchen, wants the kids to learn Jewish values etc)