What I liked: this seems to be one of the first serious attempts in either fiction or academic writing at dealing with how to enhance human minds without corrupting or destroying them, especially under recursive self modification.
It is breaking new ground in that direction as far as I can tell.
I liked the way Boon broke down its problems logically, it was a good depiction of a bootstrapping intelligence.
A few criticisms:
Lots of tell where show would be better but also much longer
Some of Grant’s actions seemed really dumb or odd, but maybe they would have made more sense if we knew a bit more about who he is and what his previous life experience was.
Waking up from cryosleep and playing chase the goblin seems really odd to me. Maybe it’s just me but damn I would want to savor that moment.
Grant Insisting on modifying his own mind RIGHT NOW WITH NO SAFEGUARDS BECAUSE HELL IT’S MY MIND BITCH seems incredibly stupid, I want to see some explanation and backstory to justify how someone could be rational enough to sign up for cryo but dumb enough to ask for that.
Some things that were supposed to be amazing and fantastic seemed weird and icky. The weird orgy thing for example. I have had a three way sexual experience and it was absolutely magical, the writing about the orgy made me want to be sick. I think it may partly be a show vs tell problem, and partly be because one can just do a lot better in terms of the scenario. Capturing a single human sexual experience between two people is hard work, tbh I wouldn’t know how to do it (I lack writing talent)
Overall, fantastic, amazing, please do more and please teach me how to write!
Thanks for the compliments and the constructive criticisms! As you can tell, some of the problems are imposed by the structure of the story (needing to present all the ideas within a certain length, especially). If I write further stories set in this world, I’ll try and address your points.
One minor counter: I think Grant’s behaviour with self modification is actually sensible, seen from his own perspective. He can’t trust that others won’t overwrite key parts of him, and his very first self-modification action is to cautiously modify himself so he doesn’t foolishly modify himself.
I also suspect his granddaughter was a bit manipulative there, giving him full control in a way that encouraged destructive modification. She could have given him a self-modification format with more training wheels. Instead, she chose to give him what he asked for, not what he wanted.
Yeah maybe I am putting myself into Grant’s shoes a bit too much. Modifying your own algorithm is a bit like messing with system files on Linux/Windows.
“What can possibly go wrong if I just chmod the System files to 777 so that I have full access to all of them?”
…
computer dies horribly
I suspect that most people who are in the rational-o-sphere would be super cautious too, but perhaps one could build Grant’s presingularity life up a bit. Maybe he won the lottery and decided to outright buy cryo at an older age, for example? Maybe he doesn’t have all that rational-o-sphere knowledge?
So, this is non-canon, but I pictured Grant as black, partially self-taught, middle manager career, some nerdish hobbies but many not, and overconfident in his own abilities. He chose cryogenics, because his overconfidence overrode his absurdity heuristic. But as I said, this is non-canon and subject to change if I ever flesh him out more.
Interesting, I’d like to think/talk more about how different types of people might get into Cryonics, and how they might do on the other side.
One expectation I have is that the people who tend to self-select into cryo are probably the people with the most to gain from it.
I think that the binding constraint on how good paradise can be is the constraint of how much you can modify yourself and still realistically say that it is you. If you are a fairly average person from today with simple tastes and interests, there perhaps not much room for you to grow and still be “you”.
If you have more exotic tastes and more sophisticated ambitions, you have more room to grow. The more frustrated and stifled you feel by contemporary society, the more you’ll benefit from having all those constraints lifted. Dream big.
I suspect that a few people will end up as celebrities for exploring interesting areas of mindspace, and they may spark various fashions among people who would not have expected to change much.
Great story, I read all of it.
What I liked: this seems to be one of the first serious attempts in either fiction or academic writing at dealing with how to enhance human minds without corrupting or destroying them, especially under recursive self modification.
It is breaking new ground in that direction as far as I can tell.
I liked the way Boon broke down its problems logically, it was a good depiction of a bootstrapping intelligence.
A few criticisms:
Lots of tell where show would be better but also much longer
Some of Grant’s actions seemed really dumb or odd, but maybe they would have made more sense if we knew a bit more about who he is and what his previous life experience was.
Waking up from cryosleep and playing chase the goblin seems really odd to me. Maybe it’s just me but damn I would want to savor that moment.
Grant Insisting on modifying his own mind RIGHT NOW WITH NO SAFEGUARDS BECAUSE HELL IT’S MY MIND BITCH seems incredibly stupid, I want to see some explanation and backstory to justify how someone could be rational enough to sign up for cryo but dumb enough to ask for that.
Some things that were supposed to be amazing and fantastic seemed weird and icky. The weird orgy thing for example. I have had a three way sexual experience and it was absolutely magical, the writing about the orgy made me want to be sick. I think it may partly be a show vs tell problem, and partly be because one can just do a lot better in terms of the scenario. Capturing a single human sexual experience between two people is hard work, tbh I wouldn’t know how to do it (I lack writing talent)
Overall, fantastic, amazing, please do more and please teach me how to write!
Thanks for the compliments and the constructive criticisms! As you can tell, some of the problems are imposed by the structure of the story (needing to present all the ideas within a certain length, especially). If I write further stories set in this world, I’ll try and address your points.
One minor counter: I think Grant’s behaviour with self modification is actually sensible, seen from his own perspective. He can’t trust that others won’t overwrite key parts of him, and his very first self-modification action is to cautiously modify himself so he doesn’t foolishly modify himself.
I also suspect his granddaughter was a bit manipulative there, giving him full control in a way that encouraged destructive modification. She could have given him a self-modification format with more training wheels. Instead, she chose to give him what he asked for, not what he wanted.
btw is this self-imposed? Or just time constrained?
Readability for most people :-) it might be too long already.
Yeah maybe I am putting myself into Grant’s shoes a bit too much. Modifying your own algorithm is a bit like messing with system files on Linux/Windows.
…
I suspect that most people who are in the rational-o-sphere would be super cautious too, but perhaps one could build Grant’s presingularity life up a bit. Maybe he won the lottery and decided to outright buy cryo at an older age, for example? Maybe he doesn’t have all that rational-o-sphere knowledge?
So, this is non-canon, but I pictured Grant as black, partially self-taught, middle manager career, some nerdish hobbies but many not, and overconfident in his own abilities. He chose cryogenics, because his overconfidence overrode his absurdity heuristic. But as I said, this is non-canon and subject to change if I ever flesh him out more.
Interesting, I’d like to think/talk more about how different types of people might get into Cryonics, and how they might do on the other side.
One expectation I have is that the people who tend to self-select into cryo are probably the people with the most to gain from it.
I think that the binding constraint on how good paradise can be is the constraint of how much you can modify yourself and still realistically say that it is you. If you are a fairly average person from today with simple tastes and interests, there perhaps not much room for you to grow and still be “you”.
If you have more exotic tastes and more sophisticated ambitions, you have more room to grow. The more frustrated and stifled you feel by contemporary society, the more you’ll benefit from having all those constraints lifted. Dream big.
I suspect that a few people will end up as celebrities for exploring interesting areas of mindspace, and they may spark various fashions among people who would not have expected to change much.