Have you seen or heard about this working for other people? For me practicing boxing with my wife feels seriously wrong, because while sparring is NOT violence it is kind of a simulation of it, so frankly I would rather do it with some big burly man I feel nothing for than with a woman I feel all kinds of gentle and protective loving sentiments for. Although I did propose training together with mittens / focus pads, that is cool. We dropped the idea because we don’t want our toddler see we do this, but obviously for childless people it could work.
If you are 18 - 28 and didn’t qualify but probably male, the No. 1 thing I would recommend would be body building. Not this current “squat and deadlift bro” trend although that too, but also the isolation dumbbell stuff, both composite and isolation work, even if it means having to put martial arts on a back burner for a while. When I did this at 17 my biggest surprise was that it also worked for intelligent women! I used to think intelligent people are “not superficial”, but one high-IQ girlfriend explained to me she thinks she is simply honest with herself, if a male body makes her go meow, she won’t out-clever herself out of it.
However 30+ I felt this thing is getting old, the whole body building stuff just made me feel bad like all stiff and aching and had no joy in it. For people 30+ I think the primary thing is to use any sport you like + diet to not be fat, and wear nice clothes, there is not much more there, at 35 not having a gut makes a man half a demigod. (I have a gut.)
Previous research has looked at the consequences of self-handicapping and have suggested that self-handicapping leads to a more positive mood (at least in the short term)[29][30] or at least guards against a drop in positive mood after failure.[31] Thus, self-handicapping may serve as a means of regulating one’s emotions in the course of protecting one’s self-esteem.[32] However, based on past evidence that positive mood motivates self-protective attributions for success and failure[33] and increases the avoidance of negative feedback,[34] recent research has focused on mood as an antecedent to self-handicapping; expecting positive mood to increase self-handicapping behaviour.[35] Results have shown that people who are in positive mood are more likely to engage in self-handicapping, even at the cost of jeopardizing future performance.
Research suggests that among those who self-handicap, self-imposed obstacles may relieve the pressure of a performance and allow one to become more engaged in a task.[36] While this may enhance performance in some situations for some individuals,[37] in general, research indicates that self-handicapping is negatively associated with performance, self-regulated learning, persistence and intrinsic motivation.[20][38] Additional long-term costs of self-handicapping include worse health and well-being, more frequent negative moods and higher use of various substances.[30]
Have you seen or heard about this working for other people? For me practicing boxing with my wife feels seriously wrong, because while sparring is NOT violence it is kind of a simulation of it, so frankly I would rather do it with some big burly man I feel nothing for than with a woman I feel all kinds of gentle and protective loving sentiments for. Although I did propose training together with mittens / focus pads, that is cool. We dropped the idea because we don’t want our toddler see we do this, but obviously for childless people it could work.
If you are 18 - 28 and didn’t qualify but probably male, the No. 1 thing I would recommend would be body building. Not this current “squat and deadlift bro” trend although that too, but also the isolation dumbbell stuff, both composite and isolation work, even if it means having to put martial arts on a back burner for a while. When I did this at 17 my biggest surprise was that it also worked for intelligent women! I used to think intelligent people are “not superficial”, but one high-IQ girlfriend explained to me she thinks she is simply honest with herself, if a male body makes her go meow, she won’t out-clever herself out of it.
However 30+ I felt this thing is getting old, the whole body building stuff just made me feel bad like all stiff and aching and had no joy in it. For people 30+ I think the primary thing is to use any sport you like + diet to not be fat, and wear nice clothes, there is not much more there, at 35 not having a gut makes a man half a demigod. (I have a gut.)
Personal experience says you should just used to this. It is weird at first, but it isn’t that bad.