Yes, sometimes it is necessary to tell your child, in whatever terms would be most effective right now, to shut the hell up.
I am not sure how many people in the linked thread actually meant what they wrote, and how many were just trolling. But it’s fascinating to see people who believe that telling your child “shut up” when you have an important phone call is wrong (and according to one person, sociopathic).
I am a parent, of course.
The only specific advice offered to the parent in given situation was: “simply leave the room when you have a phone call”. Multiple people wrote this. Those are probably not parents. Otherwise they might have noticed that kids sometimes have legs, and will use them to follow you to the other room.
In my personal experience, a frequent advice given by people horrified by my parenting style that contradicts their favorite psychological theories is that I should very patiently explain to the child why daddy needs to take the important phone call without being interrupted all the time. Slow and patient explanation is always the way. The practical problem with this advice is that (1) yes, I have already slowly and patiently explained several times in the past why parents should not be interrupted during phone calls; you see, I am not completely incapable of explaining things slowly and patiently; it’s just that (2) the moment when I have an important phone call is not the right moment to give (yet another) slow and patient lecture on proper behavior, because, duh, I have an important phone call at the moment.
A thread about how to support new parents, which seems right based on my experiences.
> Don’t: offer to do something that makes more work for them
Specifically, don’t do things that need “just a little work to finish”.
For example, if you offer to cook someone a lunch, it will probably be appreciated… unless you only deliver a part of it, with detailed instructions on how to prepare the remaining part. “But I did the most difficult part, and only left out the easy part.” Yeah, but ordering the entire thing from a restaurant would have been even easier.
I would add to the list:
When you meet a parent outside with a stroller, don’t yell “Hello!” at them. The stroller may contain a sleeping baby. Many non-parents fail to realize this, and the urge to be polite is just too strong.
I am not sure how many people in the linked thread actually meant what they wrote, and how many were just trolling. But it’s fascinating to see people who believe that telling your child “shut up” when you have an important phone call is wrong (and according to one person, sociopathic).
I am a parent, of course.
The only specific advice offered to the parent in given situation was: “simply leave the room when you have a phone call”. Multiple people wrote this. Those are probably not parents. Otherwise they might have noticed that kids sometimes have legs, and will use them to follow you to the other room.
In my personal experience, a frequent advice given by people horrified by my parenting style that contradicts their favorite psychological theories is that I should very patiently explain to the child why daddy needs to take the important phone call without being interrupted all the time. Slow and patient explanation is always the way. The practical problem with this advice is that (1) yes, I have already slowly and patiently explained several times in the past why parents should not be interrupted during phone calls; you see, I am not completely incapable of explaining things slowly and patiently; it’s just that (2) the moment when I have an important phone call is not the right moment to give (yet another) slow and patient lecture on proper behavior, because, duh, I have an important phone call at the moment.
Specifically, don’t do things that need “just a little work to finish”.
For example, if you offer to cook someone a lunch, it will probably be appreciated… unless you only deliver a part of it, with detailed instructions on how to prepare the remaining part. “But I did the most difficult part, and only left out the easy part.” Yeah, but ordering the entire thing from a restaurant would have been even easier.
I would add to the list:
When you meet a parent outside with a stroller, don’t yell “Hello!” at them. The stroller may contain a sleeping baby. Many non-parents fail to realize this, and the urge to be polite is just too strong.