If you want status and connection, seek them out. What does that have to do with the fact that you don’t have them elsewhere?
Do you have to be unhappy because Starbuck’s doesn’t sell underwear, and Victoria’s Secret doesn’t serve coffee? Or do you just go to someplace that has whatever you’re looking for at the moment?
That’s how you operate when you have a preference, rather than an emotionally-backed addiction.
In this case, the emotional rule backing the addiction is a “should”—the idea that people “shouldn’t” be religious or “should” be rational. Such rules produce only pain, when you’re not in a position to enforce them.
However, if you change “they should” to “I prefer”, then you don’t have to be unhappy when reality doesn’t match your preferences. You are still free (and still motivated) to change the situation, if and when you have the power to do so, but you are not also bound to become unhappy whenever the situation is not exactly as you prefer.
If you want status and connection, seek them out. What does that have to do with the fact that you don’t have them elsewhere?
Do you have to be unhappy because Starbuck’s doesn’t sell underwear, and Victoria’s Secret doesn’t serve coffee? Or do you just go to someplace that has whatever you’re looking for at the moment?
That’s how you operate when you have a preference, rather than an emotionally-backed addiction.
In this case, the emotional rule backing the addiction is a “should”—the idea that people “shouldn’t” be religious or “should” be rational. Such rules produce only pain, when you’re not in a position to enforce them.
However, if you change “they should” to “I prefer”, then you don’t have to be unhappy when reality doesn’t match your preferences. You are still free (and still motivated) to change the situation, if and when you have the power to do so, but you are not also bound to become unhappy whenever the situation is not exactly as you prefer.