Brace yourself. Whatever they say will likely be painful to hear.
But will it be true?
Even given the earnest request, are they going to take it all at face value and give you the information you are asking for as best they can (and how good is their best, anyway?), or are they going to either be nicey-nicey, or use it as an open goal to offload their own “stuff” into? I am seeing a lot of ways this could go wrong. It would not be good to acknowledge and accept ugly falsehoods.
Good point. The question I use to identify perceptual blindspots is best suited to ask people who are interested in your genuine well-being. Asking a toxic ex-girlfriend is probably not going to be a productive conversation...
It was outside the scope of the original post and cut for space, but I’ll add that these types of conversations operate best when they are a collaboration. Even when I’m the one receiving constructive criticism, I try to help them make the best argument. Then, we can determine together whether it’s an accurate assessment. Regardless of its veracity, you may discover a new way that people perceive you that maybe you weren’t aware of before.
But will it be true?
Even given the earnest request, are they going to take it all at face value and give you the information you are asking for as best they can (and how good is their best, anyway?), or are they going to either be nicey-nicey, or use it as an open goal to offload their own “stuff” into? I am seeing a lot of ways this could go wrong. It would not be good to acknowledge and accept ugly falsehoods.
Something something Ask vs. Guess culture.
Good point. The question I use to identify perceptual blindspots is best suited to ask people who are interested in your genuine well-being. Asking a toxic ex-girlfriend is probably not going to be a productive conversation...
It was outside the scope of the original post and cut for space, but I’ll add that these types of conversations operate best when they are a collaboration. Even when I’m the one receiving constructive criticism, I try to help them make the best argument. Then, we can determine together whether it’s an accurate assessment. Regardless of its veracity, you may discover a new way that people perceive you that maybe you weren’t aware of before.