In more personal terms, if you fit your utility function to your friends and decide what is best for them based on that, rather than letting them to their own alien utility functions and helping them to get what they really want rather than what you think they should want, you are not a good friend. I say this because if the function you’re pushing prohibits me from fulfilling my goals, I will avoid the fuck out of you. I will lie about my intentions. I will not trust you. It doesn’t matter if your heart’s in the right place.
fit your utility function to your friends and decide what is best for them based on that, rather than letting them to their own alien utility functions and helping them to get what they really want rather than what you think they should want.
The definition of want here is ambiguous, and that makes this is a little hard to parse. How are you defining “want” with respect to “utility function”? Do you mean to make them equivalent?
If by “want” you mean desire in accord with their appropriately calibrated utility functions, then, well, sure. A friend is selfish by any common understanding if he doesn’t care about his buddies’ needs.
But it seems like you might be saying that he’s a bad friend for not helping his friends get what they want regardless of what he thinks they need. While this is one view of friendship, it is not nearly as common, and I can make a strong case against it. Such a view would require that you help addicts continue to use, that you help self-destructive people harm themselves, that you never argue with a friend over a toxic relationship you can see, and that you never really try to convince a friend to try anything he or she doesn’t think he or she will like.
I will lie about my intentions. I will not trust you. It doesn’t matter if your heart’s in the right place.
Sadly, this happens. If you’re saying you think it should happen more, okay. But I would consider a friend pretty poor if he or she weren’t willing to risk a little alienation because of genuine concern.
I meant the former case, what use are people who’s wants don’t perfectly align with their utility function? xJ
I guess whenever the latter case occurs in my life, that’s not really what’s happening. The dog thinks it’s driving away a threat I don’t recognise, when really it’s driving away an opportunity it’s incapable of recognising. Sometimes it might even be the right thing for them to do, even by my standards, given a lack of information. I still have to manage them like a burdensome dog.
The definition of want here is ambiguous, and that makes this is a little hard to parse. How are you defining “want” with respect to “utility function”? Do you mean to make them equivalent?
If by “want” you mean desire in accord with their appropriately calibrated utility functions, then, well, sure. A friend is selfish by any common understanding if he doesn’t care about his buddies’ needs.
Assuming that the utility monster is not, somehow, mistaken regarding it’s wants...
In more personal terms, if you fit your utility function to your friends and decide what is best for them based on that, rather than letting them to their own alien utility functions and helping them to get what they really want rather than what you think they should want, you are not a good friend. I say this because if the function you’re pushing prohibits me from fulfilling my goals, I will avoid the fuck out of you. I will lie about my intentions. I will not trust you. It doesn’t matter if your heart’s in the right place.
The definition of want here is ambiguous, and that makes this is a little hard to parse. How are you defining “want” with respect to “utility function”? Do you mean to make them equivalent?
If by “want” you mean desire in accord with their appropriately calibrated utility functions, then, well, sure. A friend is selfish by any common understanding if he doesn’t care about his buddies’ needs.
But it seems like you might be saying that he’s a bad friend for not helping his friends get what they want regardless of what he thinks they need. While this is one view of friendship, it is not nearly as common, and I can make a strong case against it. Such a view would require that you help addicts continue to use, that you help self-destructive people harm themselves, that you never argue with a friend over a toxic relationship you can see, and that you never really try to convince a friend to try anything he or she doesn’t think he or she will like.
Sadly, this happens. If you’re saying you think it should happen more, okay. But I would consider a friend pretty poor if he or she weren’t willing to risk a little alienation because of genuine concern.
I meant the former case, what use are people who’s wants don’t perfectly align with their utility function? xJ I guess whenever the latter case occurs in my life, that’s not really what’s happening. The dog thinks it’s driving away a threat I don’t recognise, when really it’s driving away an opportunity it’s incapable of recognising. Sometimes it might even be the right thing for them to do, even by my standards, given a lack of information. I still have to manage them like a burdensome dog.
Assuming that the utility monster is not, somehow, mistaken regarding it’s wants...