I worry that this means they won’t try hard enough.
So did I. So do they. And we’re all right: They don’t “try hard enough”.
They stop trying and start doing, instead. Moves things along much faster, I must say. ;-)
PJEby tells you that failure doesn’t have to hurt. To me this seems to amount to telling people that they are weak and cannot withstand hurt
Okay, now this is where you have the poor model of me. See e.g. Fritz on affirmations, and Dweck on mindsets. Failure is something to embrace and learn from… not to be avoided.
Losing the stakes of yourself that you gambled—that hurts and it’s okay for it to hurt, but even that is not the end of the world. You keep moving forward, afterward.
This is where we agree.… and also where you sound more like you’re in the “growth” mindset.
The trouble is, a person in the “growth” mindset can take a “no pain, no gain” stance and have it motivate them. A fixed-mindset person cannot, because they see failure as a permanent reflection on their character… which leads to paralysis.
I group most self-help gurus into two categories: Hardassians (“no pain, no gain”) and Fairylanders (“think happy thoughts and it will all turn out”). In your above comment, you’re speaking like a Hardassian who’s mistaken me for a Fairylander. Thing is, both the Hardassian and Fairylander strategies work fine for people in the growth mindset, and not at all for people in the fixed mindset. As someone else said:
I think PJEby is on target for most people to the extent that most people do not resemble Eliezer.
...because most people (at least most intellectuals AFAICT) do not operate out of the “growth” mindset, and therefore find fear of failure paralyzing, rather than stimulating.
I don’t teach people to avoid pain, I teach them to remove their pain-avoidance compulsions, so that pain doesn’t bother them any more, and they have no need to avoid it.
And there’s a huge difference between that, and what you’re saying I do.
I endorse PJEby on focusing attention on growth potential, the psychological literature seems to put some weight behind this view. Focusing your attention (and thus modifying your emotional reactions and mental energy) doesn’t have to involve self-deception about your ability to grow.
So did I. So do they. And we’re all right: They don’t “try hard enough”.
They stop trying and start doing, instead. Moves things along much faster, I must say. ;-)
Okay, now this is where you have the poor model of me. See e.g. Fritz on affirmations, and Dweck on mindsets. Failure is something to embrace and learn from… not to be avoided.
This is where we agree.… and also where you sound more like you’re in the “growth” mindset.
The trouble is, a person in the “growth” mindset can take a “no pain, no gain” stance and have it motivate them. A fixed-mindset person cannot, because they see failure as a permanent reflection on their character… which leads to paralysis.
I group most self-help gurus into two categories: Hardassians (“no pain, no gain”) and Fairylanders (“think happy thoughts and it will all turn out”). In your above comment, you’re speaking like a Hardassian who’s mistaken me for a Fairylander. Thing is, both the Hardassian and Fairylander strategies work fine for people in the growth mindset, and not at all for people in the fixed mindset. As someone else said:
...because most people (at least most intellectuals AFAICT) do not operate out of the “growth” mindset, and therefore find fear of failure paralyzing, rather than stimulating.
I don’t teach people to avoid pain, I teach them to remove their pain-avoidance compulsions, so that pain doesn’t bother them any more, and they have no need to avoid it.
And there’s a huge difference between that, and what you’re saying I do.
I endorse PJEby on focusing attention on growth potential, the psychological literature seems to put some weight behind this view. Focusing your attention (and thus modifying your emotional reactions and mental energy) doesn’t have to involve self-deception about your ability to grow.