My current sense? Is that both Unreal and I are basically doing a mix of “take an advocate role” and “using this as an opportunity to get some of what the community got wrong last time -with our own trauma- right.” But for different roles, and for different traumas.
It seemed worth being explicit and calling this out. (I don’t necessarily think this is bad? I also think both of us seem to have done a LOT of “processing our own shit’ already, which helps.)
But doing this is… exhausting for me, all the same. I also, personally, feel like I’ve taken up too much space for a bit. It’s starting to wear on me in ways I don’t endorse.
I’m going to take a step back from this for a week, and get myself to focus on living the rest of my life. After a week, I will circle back. In fact, I COMMIT to circling back.
And honestly? I have told several people about the exact nature of my Leverage trauma. I will tell at least several more people about it, before all of this is over.
It’s not going to vanish. I’ve already ensured that it can’t. I can’t quite commit to “going full public,” because that might be the wrong move? But I will not rest on this until I have done something broadly equivalent.
I am a little bit scared of some sort of attempts to undermine me emerging as a consequence, because there’s a trend in even the casual reports that leans in this direction? But if it happens, I will go public about THAT fact.
I am a lot less scared of the repercussions than almost anyone else would be. So, fuck it.
(But also? My experience doesn’t necessarily rule out “most of the bad that happened here was a total lack of guard-rails + culty death-spirals.” It would take some truly awful negligence to have that few guard-rails, and I would not want that person running a company again? But still, just fyi. Yeah, I know, I know, it undercuts the drama of my last statement.)
But if anyone wonders why I vanished? I’m taking a break. That is what I’m doing.
My current sense? Is that both Unreal and I are basically doing a mix of “take an advocate role” and “using this as an opportunity to get some of what the community got wrong last time -with our own trauma- right.” But for different roles, and for different traumas.
It seemed worth being explicit and calling this out. (I don’t necessarily think this is bad? I also think both of us seem to have done a LOT of “processing our own shit’ already, which helps.)
But doing this is… exhausting for me, all the same. I also, personally, feel like I’ve taken up too much space for a bit. It’s starting to wear on me in ways I don’t endorse.
I’m going to take a step back from this for a week, and get myself to focus on living the rest of my life. After a week, I will circle back. In fact, I COMMIT to circling back.
And honestly? I have told several people about the exact nature of my Leverage trauma. I will tell at least several more people about it, before all of this is over.
It’s not going to vanish. I’ve already ensured that it can’t. I can’t quite commit to “going full public,” because that might be the wrong move? But I will not rest on this until I have done something broadly equivalent.
I am a little bit scared of some sort of attempts to undermine me emerging as a consequence, because there’s a trend in even the casual reports that leans in this direction? But if it happens, I will go public about THAT fact.
I am a lot less scared of the repercussions than almost anyone else would be. So, fuck it.
(But also? My experience doesn’t necessarily rule out “most of the bad that happened here was a total lack of guard-rails + culty death-spirals.” It would take some truly awful negligence to have that few guard-rails, and I would not want that person running a company again? But still, just fyi. Yeah, I know, I know, it undercuts the drama of my last statement.)
But if anyone wonders why I vanished? I’m taking a break. That is what I’m doing.