Tell: “I’m beginning to find this conversation aversive, and I’m not sure why. I propose we hold off until I’ve figured that out.”
“I didn’t sleep well last night and am feeling frazzled and irritable today. I apologize if I snap at you during this meeting. It isn’t personal.”
“I just realized this interaction will be far more productive if my brain has food. I think we should head toward the kitchen.”
“It would be awfully convenient networking for me to stick around for a bit after our meeting to talk with you and [the next person you’re meeting with]. But on a scale of one to ten, it’s only about 3 useful to me. If you’d rate the loss of utility for you as two or higher, then I have a strong preference for not sticking around.”
All of these feel fairly solid as reveal-culture statements. But, I have heard people do variants on these that are like:
“I’m finding this conversation aversive.” No elaboration or followup to take on the emotional labor of fixing it, or bidding to share the emotional labor. Sometimes said with cold expression, that sounds a little like a threat.
And I think that’s the sort of thing “Reveal” culture is pushing against.
Thanks for the answer! If I understand you correctly, you’re saying that these statements from the tell culture post are reveal culture statements as well? If so, I’m still failing to see the difference between tell and reveal cultures—it sounds like reveal culture is just some clarification on tell culture, if it indeed agrees with the examples given in the tell culture post.
The point is that in real life, people heard the phrase ‘tell culture’ and went off to do something unhelpful, and the goal of ‘reveal culture’ was to make it more likely for people hearing about it to go on to do something helpful.
Taking a look at examples from the origina:
All of these feel fairly solid as reveal-culture statements. But, I have heard people do variants on these that are like:
“I’m finding this conversation aversive.” No elaboration or followup to take on the emotional labor of fixing it, or bidding to share the emotional labor. Sometimes said with cold expression, that sounds a little like a threat.
And I think that’s the sort of thing “Reveal” culture is pushing against.
Thanks for the answer! If I understand you correctly, you’re saying that these statements from the tell culture post are reveal culture statements as well? If so, I’m still failing to see the difference between tell and reveal cultures—it sounds like reveal culture is just some clarification on tell culture, if it indeed agrees with the examples given in the tell culture post.
I mean, that’s what he said reveal culture was.
The point is that in real life, people heard the phrase ‘tell culture’ and went off to do something unhelpful, and the goal of ‘reveal culture’ was to make it more likely for people hearing about it to go on to do something helpful.
Got it! Thanks for taking the time to answer (: