a very strong feeling that I must not respond in any way.
Has this caused you difficulty in social situations where a certain degree of manipulation is usually considered acceptable?
I’m thinking of cases where someone is signalling that they want a hug, or a compliment, or to be asked after. Certainly it would be nice if people stated their needs clearly in those situations, but a) that’s not “normal” in our culture and a lot of people never consider it, b) it’s sometimes very difficult even when you know it’s an option, and c) ignoring people in those situations won’t lead them to be clearer next time, it just makes it seem like you don’t care about their distress.
Signaling that you want a hug isn’t manipulation in my book, it’s just nonverbal communication. But I can’t be guilt-tripped into a hug or a compliment.
Has this caused you difficulty in social situations where a certain degree of manipulation is usually considered acceptable?
I’m thinking of cases where someone is signalling that they want a hug, or a compliment, or to be asked after. Certainly it would be nice if people stated their needs clearly in those situations, but a) that’s not “normal” in our culture and a lot of people never consider it, b) it’s sometimes very difficult even when you know it’s an option, and c) ignoring people in those situations won’t lead them to be clearer next time, it just makes it seem like you don’t care about their distress.
Signaling that you want a hug isn’t manipulation in my book, it’s just nonverbal communication. But I can’t be guilt-tripped into a hug or a compliment.
Fair enough. But I’m not sure where the lines are between those things. That question might be a good addition to this post.