I’ve spent a lot of my internet posting career , years ago, being “nice” in arguments, which, yes, I’m capable of. I found that, rather than turn people on to my views, it simply legitimized, in their minds, the ridiculous positions they were taking, and allowed them to confidently go away believing it was just a case of “reasonable people disagreeing about a tough issue”.
My experience is different. I used to post online in a more critical and uncompromising fashion. Yet over the years, I came around to a more pleasant and accommodating style, and I find that it works better. Even though I have to swallow things I would like to say on the spot, I often look back on the thread later and feel glad that I took the high road.
I can’t convince everyone that I debate with, but I’ve managed to pull a bunch of people in my direction, which I don’t think I could have accomplished with a more bombastic style. Furthermore, my view is that even if I can’t convince a particular person I’m debating with, I can still convince the lurking fence-sitters.
Do I want to murder my karma to point out flaws in Alicorn’s advice, or do I want to be “part of the tribe”?
In a top-level post that you will remember, I criticized Alicorn’s advice in a way that only gained me karma. This sort of thing can be done.
In a top-level post that you will remember, I criticized Alicorn’s advice in a way that only gained me karma. This sort of thing can be done.
And it took, by my reckoning, over a year after you or I said anything to her before she finally admitted she might not have accounted for the full extent of the difference between her and women in general. Your posts serve as cover for Alicorn to say what she’s thinking without making the concession to me as obvious.
My experience is different. I used to post online in a more critical and uncompromising fashion. Yet over the years, I came around to a more pleasant and accommodating style, and I find that it works better. Even though I have to swallow things I would like to say on the spot, I often look back on the thread later and feel glad that I took the high road.
I can’t convince everyone that I debate with, but I’ve managed to pull a bunch of people in my direction, which I don’t think I could have accomplished with a more bombastic style. Furthermore, my view is that even if I can’t convince a particular person I’m debating with, I can still convince the lurking fence-sitters.
In a top-level post that you will remember, I criticized Alicorn’s advice in a way that only gained me karma. This sort of thing can be done.
And it took, by my reckoning, over a year after you or I said anything to her before she finally admitted she might not have accounted for the full extent of the difference between her and women in general. Your posts serve as cover for Alicorn to say what she’s thinking without making the concession to me as obvious.