Why do you want to change minds? Is there any chance that you could abandon that value? Because I believe, paradoxically, that it would help you achieve that same value
Another belief that is worth changing is ‘conversations should be fair’. Having no expectations of others beyond bounded Machiavellian interaction can allow one to guide a conversation in a far more healthy direction.
I’m being terse to the point of being outrright opaque but I mean that if you expect people to try maximise their own status (and power in general) in all their interactions rather than trying to be reasonable or fair then you will find conflict laden conversations less frustrating. I say ‘bounded’ because people aren’t perfect machiavellian agents even when they try to be—you need to account for stupidity as well as political motivations.
This reminds me of one of my heuristics—if you claw at people, it’s reasonable to expect them to claw back.
This doesn’t mean “never claw at people”. It just means “don’t add being offended at them clawing back to the original reasons you had for clawing at them”.
Another belief that is worth changing is ‘conversations should be fair’. Having no expectations of others beyond bounded Machiavellian interaction can allow one to guide a conversation in a far more healthy direction.
What do you mean by ‘bounded Machiavellian interaction’?
I’m being terse to the point of being outrright opaque but I mean that if you expect people to try maximise their own status (and power in general) in all their interactions rather than trying to be reasonable or fair then you will find conflict laden conversations less frustrating. I say ‘bounded’ because people aren’t perfect machiavellian agents even when they try to be—you need to account for stupidity as well as political motivations.
This reminds me of one of my heuristics—if you claw at people, it’s reasonable to expect them to claw back.
This doesn’t mean “never claw at people”. It just means “don’t add being offended at them clawing back to the original reasons you had for clawing at them”.