If Alice is dating Bob and Alice is promoted to become Bob’s boss, then Alice should refuse the promotion, or everyone involved agree that Bob moves to a different department, or some other solution along these lines. And, yes, informal positions of power is a thing that should be watched out for. I don’t think I’m trivializing, I just feel there’s a reasonable trade-off point and the norms associated with the American left (which is obviously very influential in this community) went too far to one end of spectrum.
Now, when most people in a workplace are dating each other… I don’t know, this is too far outside my experience for me to have an informed opinion. I can believe this is a terrible idea, or that it’s somehow manageable if done right. I think that usually this organically doesn’t happen, but I have no experience with working in heavily-poly / heavily-EA orgs, maybe that’s different.
Notice that “the gears to ascenscion” wrote “in professional contexts”, not just “while working at the same place”. That might be interpreted to mean things like “don’t date people who you sometimes see in professional conferences”, and AFAICT some people actually endorse norms along those lines. And, I think that’s going way too far.
I agree. If it’s not the same workplace, it seems generally okay to me.
There might be some special case where I would say otherwise. But I believe most people would not object against two plumbers dating, or two software developers, or two teachers...
If Alice is dating Bob and Alice is promoted to become Bob’s boss, then Alice should refuse the promotion, or everyone involved agree that Bob moves to a different department, or some other solution along these lines. And, yes, informal positions of power is a thing that should be watched out for. I don’t think I’m trivializing, I just feel there’s a reasonable trade-off point and the norms associated with the American left (which is obviously very influential in this community) went too far to one end of spectrum.
Now, when most people in a workplace are dating each other… I don’t know, this is too far outside my experience for me to have an informed opinion. I can believe this is a terrible idea, or that it’s somehow manageable if done right. I think that usually this organically doesn’t happen, but I have no experience with working in heavily-poly / heavily-EA orgs, maybe that’s different.
Notice that “the gears to ascenscion” wrote “in professional contexts”, not just “while working at the same place”. That might be interpreted to mean things like “don’t date people who you sometimes see in professional conferences”, and AFAICT some people actually endorse norms along those lines. And, I think that’s going way too far.
I agree. If it’s not the same workplace, it seems generally okay to me.
There might be some special case where I would say otherwise. But I believe most people would not object against two plumbers dating, or two software developers, or two teachers...