I’m now reminded of being challenged by a somewhat belligerent drunk once to the general effect of “What are you, a fag or something?” in reaction to some bit of insufficiently masculine signaling or another.
The response “Yes, actually, why do you ask?” really bewildered him.
I assume you identify as straight, which makes that approach less viable, but it can sometimes be worth being aware of the signaling benefits of confidently ignoring peripheral rules.
Oh I totally agree with that. I’ve spent the bulk of my life deliberately ignoring whatever social conventions I wanted to, and I can actually manage a fairly confident response when challenged about it. (I occasionally wear a lab coat and/or top hat, and when asked why I’m wearing it, my response is “Huh? Why aren’t you?”)
But I’m trying right now to get a decent familiarity with “the rules” so that when I choose to break them, it’s a conscious decision I’m making from a position of strength and knowledge, rather than ignorance and an inability to blend in if I needed to.
I’m now reminded of being challenged by a somewhat belligerent drunk once to the general effect of “What are you, a fag or something?” in reaction to some bit of insufficiently masculine signaling or another.
The response “Yes, actually, why do you ask?” really bewildered him.
I assume you identify as straight, which makes that approach less viable, but it can sometimes be worth being aware of the signaling benefits of confidently ignoring peripheral rules.
Oh I totally agree with that. I’ve spent the bulk of my life deliberately ignoring whatever social conventions I wanted to, and I can actually manage a fairly confident response when challenged about it. (I occasionally wear a lab coat and/or top hat, and when asked why I’m wearing it, my response is “Huh? Why aren’t you?”)
But I’m trying right now to get a decent familiarity with “the rules” so that when I choose to break them, it’s a conscious decision I’m making from a position of strength and knowledge, rather than ignorance and an inability to blend in if I needed to.