Things I’ve learned over the years related to this:
If someone argues with great force and convincingness that you shouldn’t help them because they’ll never get better, believe them.
Never, ever hire someone for a job they can’t do as a “favor.” This causes more trouble than simply giving them money.
You can be friends with someone who has serious life problems. (It would be awful and callous if you couldn’t.) But you need to both acknowledge that you probably won’t be able to singlehandedly fix their whole life, and you need to spend some of your time just about enjoying each other’s company, independently from you trying to help them.
You probably can’t, in the long term, be totally dependent on others to take care of you, if you’re an adult; people will eventually just refuse to do that. This includes depending on emotional handholding. Even if you have a persistent problem like a lifelong mental illness that does require long-term help, you’re eventually going to have to transition to “managing your problem responsibly” rather than being a perpetual damsel in distress. It’s ultimately in your interest to become good at coping with life, despite how much better it can feel in the moment to be rescued.
Things I’ve learned over the years related to this:
If someone argues with great force and convincingness that you shouldn’t help them because they’ll never get better, believe them.
Never, ever hire someone for a job they can’t do as a “favor.” This causes more trouble than simply giving them money.
You can be friends with someone who has serious life problems. (It would be awful and callous if you couldn’t.) But you need to both acknowledge that you probably won’t be able to singlehandedly fix their whole life, and you need to spend some of your time just about enjoying each other’s company, independently from you trying to help them.
You probably can’t, in the long term, be totally dependent on others to take care of you, if you’re an adult; people will eventually just refuse to do that. This includes depending on emotional handholding. Even if you have a persistent problem like a lifelong mental illness that does require long-term help, you’re eventually going to have to transition to “managing your problem responsibly” rather than being a perpetual damsel in distress. It’s ultimately in your interest to become good at coping with life, despite how much better it can feel in the moment to be rescued.