Thinking on some defensive (perhaps appropriately) reactions to this, I worry that it makes an attribution error in describing how some people are, as opposed to what some people do or some behaviors that have unintended impacts.
I don’t honestly know if it’s a helpful model, even purely descriptively, to say “some people are needy.” In my experience, some people have more propensity than others to attention- and validation-seeking behaviors, but it varies a lot both contextually and over time for most cases I’ve seen.
Framing it instead as “some people seek more emotional validation than you’re willing/able to give” may or may not be more correct, but it does have the advantage of highlighting similarities with other types of suffering and poverty (including the similarity that it’s very hard to distinguish environment vs agency in the victims).
Thinking on some defensive (perhaps appropriately) reactions to this, I worry that it makes an attribution error in describing how some people are, as opposed to what some people do or some behaviors that have unintended impacts.
I don’t honestly know if it’s a helpful model, even purely descriptively, to say “some people are needy.” In my experience, some people have more propensity than others to attention- and validation-seeking behaviors, but it varies a lot both contextually and over time for most cases I’ve seen.
Framing it instead as “some people seek more emotional validation than you’re willing/able to give” may or may not be more correct, but it does have the advantage of highlighting similarities with other types of suffering and poverty (including the similarity that it’s very hard to distinguish environment vs agency in the victims).