I’d say that the major difference between me and Tim Ferris is that I just don’t care enough. It’s interesting that thinking about that started to bring back the “because I’m a piece of shit” internal monologue which has mercifully been relatively off-line for the past day or so. [1] Oh, right—big dose of David Wong, who really isn’t safe for a fair number of people.
There’s a sort of “you’re just not good enough” motivation-forcing which seems to work backwards for me. It does not help to be told that if I was thinking right, then I wouldn’t care how I was feeling.
I don’t think Tim Ferris is evil in general, though I don’t think his story of hacking the rules for making weight for a martial arts tournament reflects well on him. Aside from unfairness to the other contestants, he was cheating the audience because he could just shove the other players instead of doing something worth looking at.
[1] I seem to be making progress on that—not only has the monologue been off-line a fair amount in the past few days, and it’s been less intense and running for much less time when it’s started. I’ve gotten more done with less stress.
I’ve thrown so many different things at the problem that it’s hard to tell (for purposes of giving advice) what’s made the difference, but I’ll start by recommending Transforming Negative Self-Talk and The Gaslight Effect. The latter is about emotional abuse in general.
I’d say that the major difference between me and Tim Ferris is that I just don’t care enough.
I don’t know that Ferris has some tremendous reservoir of determination and drive that you or I lack.
We fill our days doing something. Isn’t it odd that we choose such unproductive things?
When forced by time and other constraints to be productive, I will be, and I enjoy it. Recently, I’ve had such constraints, and I’ve been pretty productive. For me, at least. I’ve been working on my car recently, and find that work begets the desire for more work. I’m looking for more things to fix. I’ll be off to the auto store today to get more parts. I don’t have to wrestle my desires to make myself think of my car, I do, and I want to fix it.
Ferris seems to find a problem, or an opportunity, and do something about it. What could seemingly be more natural, yet actually be more rare?
It’s probably not a case of self control as much as habits in thought and action. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, and believe that whole time period, were big on virtue as the habit of right action. It’s probably nothing more complicated, nor emotionally significant, than habit.
It does not help to be told that if I was thinking right, then I wouldn’t care how I was feeling.
It might if someone said it right. I had similar unproductive internal monologues, and unproductive feelings as well. But eventually I determined that the feelings themselves weren’t the problem, it was the “I’m defective” death spiral I engaged in when I felt those feelings that was the real problem. Why do I feel bad? Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me? Blah blah blah blah blah. The feelings weren’t hurting me (much), my reaction to them was (a lot). The reaction I’ve promoted, and which has helped, is “It’s just a feeling. It sucks, but it won’t kill me.”
I’d say that the major difference between me and Tim Ferris is that I just don’t care enough. It’s interesting that thinking about that started to bring back the “because I’m a piece of shit” internal monologue which has mercifully been relatively off-line for the past day or so. [1] Oh, right—big dose of David Wong, who really isn’t safe for a fair number of people.
There’s a sort of “you’re just not good enough” motivation-forcing which seems to work backwards for me. It does not help to be told that if I was thinking right, then I wouldn’t care how I was feeling.
I don’t think Tim Ferris is evil in general, though I don’t think his story of hacking the rules for making weight for a martial arts tournament reflects well on him. Aside from unfairness to the other contestants, he was cheating the audience because he could just shove the other players instead of doing something worth looking at.
[1] I seem to be making progress on that—not only has the monologue been off-line a fair amount in the past few days, and it’s been less intense and running for much less time when it’s started. I’ve gotten more done with less stress.
I’ve thrown so many different things at the problem that it’s hard to tell (for purposes of giving advice) what’s made the difference, but I’ll start by recommending Transforming Negative Self-Talk and The Gaslight Effect. The latter is about emotional abuse in general.
I don’t know that Ferris has some tremendous reservoir of determination and drive that you or I lack.
We fill our days doing something. Isn’t it odd that we choose such unproductive things?
When forced by time and other constraints to be productive, I will be, and I enjoy it. Recently, I’ve had such constraints, and I’ve been pretty productive. For me, at least. I’ve been working on my car recently, and find that work begets the desire for more work. I’m looking for more things to fix. I’ll be off to the auto store today to get more parts. I don’t have to wrestle my desires to make myself think of my car, I do, and I want to fix it.
Ferris seems to find a problem, or an opportunity, and do something about it. What could seemingly be more natural, yet actually be more rare?
It’s probably not a case of self control as much as habits in thought and action. George Washington and Thomas Jefferson, and believe that whole time period, were big on virtue as the habit of right action. It’s probably nothing more complicated, nor emotionally significant, than habit.
That is to say… very complicated and significant but easier to trivialise.
It might if someone said it right. I had similar unproductive internal monologues, and unproductive feelings as well. But eventually I determined that the feelings themselves weren’t the problem, it was the “I’m defective” death spiral I engaged in when I felt those feelings that was the real problem. Why do I feel bad? Why can’t I do this? What’s wrong with me? Blah blah blah blah blah. The feelings weren’t hurting me (much), my reaction to them was (a lot). The reaction I’ve promoted, and which has helped, is “It’s just a feeling. It sucks, but it won’t kill me.”