I found it pretty readable and interesting, though most of what was new to me was how you were treated by a lot of the religious people you know. I was surprised that Jesus not making more of a splash in his own time was that important to you.
How are you and your wife handling your children’s (ir)religious education?
Thanks for the comment. I kept some of the worst reactions from my religious acquaintances out of the document, by the way :)
I was surprised that Jesus not making more of a splash...
It wasn’t, by itself. But consider someone with belief in belief, but who doesn’t know it. Imagine the first time they encounter some belief that doesn’t pay rent (say the bit about flour impermeability) and it brings down the whole thing. I actually think I had real belief… but I’m just illustrating the nature of what I think happened. Reading this bit about Jesus was the first time I actually saw that my religion might fall into the category of something to be examined, just like everything else. It was the first time I realized I had never researched it to begin with. Hopefully that makes more sense.
On it’s own, it probably is inconsequential (many apologists have plenty of reasons for why Jesus wasn’t more noteworthy). As the first chink in my armor… it was life changing.
How are you and your wife handling your children’s (ir)religious education?
Good question. It’s up and down. I advocate for raising them aware of religious beliefs, but not teaching any one of them as true. My wife is [obviously] more inclined to raise them Catholic, and sometimes feels very obligated to do so. Recently, she attended a conference for women in which the speaker made the point very emphatically that raising one’s children Catholic was one’s duty to god.
She came home and was very renewed in her conviction that this was her mission. I was very troubled by it, mostly because it felt like she had been invigorated to disregard my opinion and rights as a parent, not necessarily because it would have led to raising my children religious. She talked about the matter like it was a one-sided decision.
Subsequently, her trusted Catholic small group informed her that she didn’t need to be this forceful and that she could just “live as a witness” and that would be fulfilling her duty. So… I guess we’re back to where we started. My older daughter (3.5) does pick up quite a bit of religious stuff (“playing Mass,” singing alleluia, etc.), but I think she just likes the ritual and imitating what she sees. I try not to worry about it even though it bothers me.
So… hopefully that paints some of the picture. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.
Good point, though Catholics are (can be?) pretty darn mild when it comes to hell. My wife and surrounding community are super tame concerning things like that. There’s no outright judgment, but they still probably pray for the future of my soul.
I also plan on opposing things that seem to be unjustified/unreasonable outright. Hell would be one. First communion at age seven is another example. No child can comprehend what they need to in order to profess that a wafer just had it’s essence turned into the flesh of a non-physical deity while retaining all of its physical characteristics.
While things seem to be okay at the moment, we haven’t crossed a time-sensitive binary option bridge like communion yet. Thus, I don’t know what the reaction will be toward my resistance. My wife is very sensitive to her social environment and I think she will feel a lot of guilt and shame for not having her kids go through visible rituals like the sacraments (like everyone else’s kids).
Not to mention, once they’re at that age, all of our friends’ kids will be receiving communion and ours will be sitting there. This will be a stab in the heart every single week.
I found it pretty readable and interesting, though most of what was new to me was how you were treated by a lot of the religious people you know. I was surprised that Jesus not making more of a splash in his own time was that important to you.
How are you and your wife handling your children’s (ir)religious education?
I was going to recommend Julia Sweeney, too.
Thanks for the comment. I kept some of the worst reactions from my religious acquaintances out of the document, by the way :)
It wasn’t, by itself. But consider someone with belief in belief, but who doesn’t know it. Imagine the first time they encounter some belief that doesn’t pay rent (say the bit about flour impermeability) and it brings down the whole thing. I actually think I had real belief… but I’m just illustrating the nature of what I think happened. Reading this bit about Jesus was the first time I actually saw that my religion might fall into the category of something to be examined, just like everything else. It was the first time I realized I had never researched it to begin with. Hopefully that makes more sense.
On it’s own, it probably is inconsequential (many apologists have plenty of reasons for why Jesus wasn’t more noteworthy). As the first chink in my armor… it was life changing.
Good question. It’s up and down. I advocate for raising them aware of religious beliefs, but not teaching any one of them as true. My wife is [obviously] more inclined to raise them Catholic, and sometimes feels very obligated to do so. Recently, she attended a conference for women in which the speaker made the point very emphatically that raising one’s children Catholic was one’s duty to god.
She came home and was very renewed in her conviction that this was her mission. I was very troubled by it, mostly because it felt like she had been invigorated to disregard my opinion and rights as a parent, not necessarily because it would have led to raising my children religious. She talked about the matter like it was a one-sided decision.
Subsequently, her trusted Catholic small group informed her that she didn’t need to be this forceful and that she could just “live as a witness” and that would be fulfilling her duty. So… I guess we’re back to where we started. My older daughter (3.5) does pick up quite a bit of religious stuff (“playing Mass,” singing alleluia, etc.), but I think she just likes the ritual and imitating what she sees. I try not to worry about it even though it bothers me.
So… hopefully that paints some of the picture. Thanks again for taking the time to read and comment.
If you haven’t already, you might want to think about what to say when your daughter gets told about hell.
I didn’t get told about hell as a possibility when I was a kid (my background is not-very-religious Jewish), but I gather it can be quite a shock.
Good point, though Catholics are (can be?) pretty darn mild when it comes to hell. My wife and surrounding community are super tame concerning things like that. There’s no outright judgment, but they still probably pray for the future of my soul.
I also plan on opposing things that seem to be unjustified/unreasonable outright. Hell would be one. First communion at age seven is another example. No child can comprehend what they need to in order to profess that a wafer just had it’s essence turned into the flesh of a non-physical deity while retaining all of its physical characteristics.
While things seem to be okay at the moment, we haven’t crossed a time-sensitive binary option bridge like communion yet. Thus, I don’t know what the reaction will be toward my resistance. My wife is very sensitive to her social environment and I think she will feel a lot of guilt and shame for not having her kids go through visible rituals like the sacraments (like everyone else’s kids).
Not to mention, once they’re at that age, all of our friends’ kids will be receiving communion and ours will be sitting there. This will be a stab in the heart every single week.