I realised if I ever wanted the world around me to be halfway acceptable to me, I would have to learn to change people. People say “you can’t change people”, but they’re just telling themselves that to absolve themselves of this very heavy responsibility we all have to take an active role in each others’ growth.
That’s a really interesting claim. My first reaction was, “yessssss”. Personally, I really sympathize with where it is coming from. But then when I challenge that initial reaction, I start thinking that the claim is a bit too strong. (I know that you don’t necessarily agree with the strong form of the claim, just that you were inspired by it.)
I think it’s a bit much to say that we have a responsibility to change people. I also think that it’s a bit much to push change on someone isn’t receptive to it.
But I do think that some sort of weaker form of the claim is true. I think that pushing people to grow is a good thing that people should do more often, as long as you respect peoples boundaries and back off when the pushing becomes inappropriate. I think people are, typically, hesitant/afraid to do any sort of pushing. As you mention, doing so is scary, vulnerable, and you risk pushing the person away. But doing so will probably often lead to a) deeper relationships, and b) self-improvement for both parties. And so it seems like a good thing that people should do more often. I think that this topic itself would make for an interesting post.
That’s a really interesting claim. My first reaction was, “yessssss”. Personally, I really sympathize with where it is coming from. But then when I challenge that initial reaction, I start thinking that the claim is a bit too strong. (I know that you don’t necessarily agree with the strong form of the claim, just that you were inspired by it.)
I think it’s a bit much to say that we have a responsibility to change people. I also think that it’s a bit much to push change on someone isn’t receptive to it.
But I do think that some sort of weaker form of the claim is true. I think that pushing people to grow is a good thing that people should do more often, as long as you respect peoples boundaries and back off when the pushing becomes inappropriate. I think people are, typically, hesitant/afraid to do any sort of pushing. As you mention, doing so is scary, vulnerable, and you risk pushing the person away. But doing so will probably often lead to a) deeper relationships, and b) self-improvement for both parties. And so it seems like a good thing that people should do more often. I think that this topic itself would make for an interesting post.