Instead,show others through your words and actions over an extended period of timethat you are both able and happy to accept negative feedback.
In order to get better at this, it might be useful to practice not immediately discussing the feeback you just recieved. I notice that sometimes when I get feedback, I feel like I have to either immediately go “Thanks, but here’s why your comment doesn’t apply” or go “Gee, I guess I’m wrong and have to update.”
Take the pressure off yourself and record that feedback mull over the feedback some other time. (note, I have not historically done this, but I think I’m going to try now)
It would probably also be a good idea to let the other person know that you are purposefully not immediately engaging witht he feedback, so they don’t mistake you for having dismissed it.
Yeah, signalling that you’ll think about the feedback seems like a good way to navigate between defensiveness and over-updating. This also seems likely to make it easier to thank the person, since you aren’t yet evaluating the comment as helpful vs unhelpful; you’re thanking them for food for thought.
In order to get better at this, it might be useful to practice not immediately discussing the feeback you just recieved. I notice that sometimes when I get feedback, I feel like I have to either immediately go “Thanks, but here’s why your comment doesn’t apply” or go “Gee, I guess I’m wrong and have to update.”
Take the pressure off yourself and record that feedback mull over the feedback some other time. (note, I have not historically done this, but I think I’m going to try now)
It would probably also be a good idea to let the other person know that you are purposefully not immediately engaging witht he feedback, so they don’t mistake you for having dismissed it.
Yeah, signalling that you’ll think about the feedback seems like a good way to navigate between defensiveness and over-updating. This also seems likely to make it easier to thank the person, since you aren’t yet evaluating the comment as helpful vs unhelpful; you’re thanking them for food for thought.