I think you’re pointing to something that is a fully general problem with reasoning biases and logical fallacies: if people know about it, they might take you pointing out that they’re doing it as an attack on them rather than noticing they may be inadvertently making a mistake.
Getting it pointed out to you that you used an invalid argument still stings, but doesn’t sour a debate nearly as much as your interlocutor accusing you of active sabotage.
We cannot make the process painless, but we can soften the blow. I think not comparing someone’s argument to a sneaky military maneuver might be a good start.
I think you’re pointing to something that is a fully general problem with reasoning biases and logical fallacies: if people know about it, they might take you pointing out that they’re doing it as an attack on them rather than noticing they may be inadvertently making a mistake.
To quote myself from the other comment:
We cannot make the process painless, but we can soften the blow. I think not comparing someone’s argument to a sneaky military maneuver might be a good start.