I don’t want to get too deep into the semantics argument, as the point is a substantive one, but google defines submission as follows: “the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person”. Actually accepting their authority over you and working to cooperate and follow their direction (rather than making distress calls for backup while non-cooperating) is at the heart of what is important here, and is what people generally mean when they speak of “submission”. Whatever you want to call it though, “Please don’t hurt me!” is a very very different thing than “yes sir, whatever you wish”, and the former is not by any means an “I lose” signal.
There is a difference between “I accept defeat” and “I do not want to fight you”. Accepting defeat means agreeing on terms of surrender. “I don’t want to fight you” is trying to avoid giving them what they want by avoiding the direct confrontation. It does mean that you’re conceding that they are stronger here, but it does not necessarily mean losing status, or losing anything, really. Status isn’t all about direct strength and the battle isn’t always about being stronger than each other. For example, imagine the town asshole yelling at the sweet and friendly ten year old girl that everyone likes. If all you see is some 30 year old man yelling at a 10 year old girl who is girl crying and saying sorry, does the asshole’s status go up in your eyes, or does it just go down further because he looks to be picking on this little kid again? You’d probably pick the man to win in any direct one on one confrontation (physical or otherwise), but when the rest of the town shows up, the pitch forks are coming out on the side of the little girl. Status is a social thing, and when you come out ahead in the end because everyone holds you as in the right and worth defending, you’re the one with higher status. This is what people mean when they accuse people of “playing victim”—it’s still a status play, even if not in the way you’re used to seeing.
I don’t want to get too deep into the semantics argument, as the point is a substantive one, but google defines submission as follows: “the action or fact of accepting or yielding to a superior force or to the will or authority of another person”. Actually accepting their authority over you and working to cooperate and follow their direction (rather than making distress calls for backup while non-cooperating) is at the heart of what is important here, and is what people generally mean when they speak of “submission”. Whatever you want to call it though, “Please don’t hurt me!” is a very very different thing than “yes sir, whatever you wish”, and the former is not by any means an “I lose” signal.
There is a difference between “I accept defeat” and “I do not want to fight you”. Accepting defeat means agreeing on terms of surrender. “I don’t want to fight you” is trying to avoid giving them what they want by avoiding the direct confrontation. It does mean that you’re conceding that they are stronger here, but it does not necessarily mean losing status, or losing anything, really. Status isn’t all about direct strength and the battle isn’t always about being stronger than each other. For example, imagine the town asshole yelling at the sweet and friendly ten year old girl that everyone likes. If all you see is some 30 year old man yelling at a 10 year old girl who is girl crying and saying sorry, does the asshole’s status go up in your eyes, or does it just go down further because he looks to be picking on this little kid again? You’d probably pick the man to win in any direct one on one confrontation (physical or otherwise), but when the rest of the town shows up, the pitch forks are coming out on the side of the little girl. Status is a social thing, and when you come out ahead in the end because everyone holds you as in the right and worth defending, you’re the one with higher status. This is what people mean when they accuse people of “playing victim”—it’s still a status play, even if not in the way you’re used to seeing.