I disagree that that intentionally going on dates is “spiritually toxic”. You don’t really need to be able to discern compatibility quickly (you can always go on another date).
I approached dates as “doing something fun with a friend who thinks I’m hot”, and even though I didn’t end up seriously dating most of them, they were still fun experiences (having conversations at coffee shops and restaurants, hiking, paddlingboarding, etc.).
I do think dating people in your community is easier than online dating, but my experience is that finding a community is much harder than finding someone to date. Maybe this is a case of which one you’re better at though.
For what it’s worth, in my friend group, half of us are dating or married to people we met though online dating, and the other half are with people they met in college. I only know one person married to someone they met in other ways and their method isn’t helpful (be so hot that people will hit on you at the gym).
I disagree that that intentionally going on dates is “spiritually toxic”. You don’t really need to be able to discern compatibility quickly (you can always go on another date).
I approached dates as “doing something fun with a friend who thinks I’m hot”, and even though I didn’t end up seriously dating most of them, they were still fun experiences (having conversations at coffee shops and restaurants, hiking, paddlingboarding, etc.).
I do think dating people in your community is easier than online dating, but my experience is that finding a community is much harder than finding someone to date. Maybe this is a case of which one you’re better at though.
For what it’s worth, in my friend group, half of us are dating or married to people we met though online dating, and the other half are with people they met in college. I only know one person married to someone they met in other ways and their method isn’t helpful (be so hot that people will hit on you at the gym).