It does benefit you to feel sad because your brother died, though not exactly directly. The reason you feel sad is because you were attached to him. You would not feel sad if he were a random, namless (to you) stranger. Having that attachment is beneficial, even if the consequent emotion is not. But the two are inextricably tied together, and the prospect of sadness at the loss is part of what keeps you wanting to look after each other.
The question of rationality in emotions is better considered in the framework of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. An emtion is irrational if it results from an irrational belief, one that is dogmatic, rigid, inflexible. When you recognize this and replace the irrational belief with the rational one, the irrational emotion tends to be replaced by a rational one.
In the example of the goblin, the anger is not a direct result of the goblin tying your shoes together, but of your beliefs about the goblin tying your shoes together. Common anger-inciting beliefs are “he shouldn’t have done the” or “I can’t stand that he did that.” But why shouldn’t he have done that? Is there some law stating goblins can’t tie shoes together that was violated? Can you not stand that? Will you expire on the spot if that happens? No, what you really ought to realize is that “it’s unfortunate and inconvenient that the goblin tied my shoes together.” And when you think that thought, the anger typically turns into mild irritation or disappointment.
In the case of losing a brother, being sad and mourning is a normal, natural, and healthy response. If you went around thinking “I can’t live without him” or “I can’t stand that he died” you’re going to upset yourself irrationally and likely end up unduly depressed. If you replace those thoughts with “It’s very sad that my brother died, but I can tolerate it and life will still go on” you will likely be sad and mournful, but then move on with your life as most people do when they lose loved ones.
It does benefit you to feel sad because your brother died, though not exactly directly. The reason you feel sad is because you were attached to him. You would not feel sad if he were a random, namless (to you) stranger. Having that attachment is beneficial, even if the consequent emotion is not. But the two are inextricably tied together, and the prospect of sadness at the loss is part of what keeps you wanting to look after each other.
The question of rationality in emotions is better considered in the framework of Rational Emotive Behavior Therapy. An emtion is irrational if it results from an irrational belief, one that is dogmatic, rigid, inflexible. When you recognize this and replace the irrational belief with the rational one, the irrational emotion tends to be replaced by a rational one.
In the example of the goblin, the anger is not a direct result of the goblin tying your shoes together, but of your beliefs about the goblin tying your shoes together. Common anger-inciting beliefs are “he shouldn’t have done the” or “I can’t stand that he did that.” But why shouldn’t he have done that? Is there some law stating goblins can’t tie shoes together that was violated? Can you not stand that? Will you expire on the spot if that happens? No, what you really ought to realize is that “it’s unfortunate and inconvenient that the goblin tied my shoes together.” And when you think that thought, the anger typically turns into mild irritation or disappointment.
In the case of losing a brother, being sad and mourning is a normal, natural, and healthy response. If you went around thinking “I can’t live without him” or “I can’t stand that he died” you’re going to upset yourself irrationally and likely end up unduly depressed. If you replace those thoughts with “It’s very sad that my brother died, but I can tolerate it and life will still go on” you will likely be sad and mournful, but then move on with your life as most people do when they lose loved ones.