I went from being at a normal level of hard-working (for a high schooler under the college admissions pressure-cooker) to what most would consider an insane level.
The first trigger was going to a summer program after my junior year where I met people like @jsteinhardt who were much smarter and more accomplished than me. That cued a senior year of learning advanced math very quickly to try to catch up.
Then I didn’t get into my college of choice and got a giant chip on my shoulder. I constantly felt I had to be accomplishing more, and merely outdoing my peers at the school I did wind up going to wasn’t enough. Every semester, I’d say to myself “The me of this semester is going to make the me of last semester look like a slacker.”
That was not a sustainable source of pressure because, in a sense, I won, and my bio now reads like the kind I used to envy. I still work very hard, but I only have the positive desire to achieve, rather than the negative desire to escape a feeling of mediocrity.
In high school, I played hours of video games every week. That’s unimaginable to me now.
My freshman year, I spent most of the day every Saturday hanging out with board game club. Now that seems insanely decadent.
I went from being at a normal level of hard-working (for a high schooler under the college admissions pressure-cooker) to what most would consider an insane level.
The first trigger was going to a summer program after my junior year where I met people like @jsteinhardt who were much smarter and more accomplished than me. That cued a senior year of learning advanced math very quickly to try to catch up.
Then I didn’t get into my college of choice and got a giant chip on my shoulder. I constantly felt I had to be accomplishing more, and merely outdoing my peers at the school I did wind up going to wasn’t enough. Every semester, I’d say to myself “The me of this semester is going to make the me of last semester look like a slacker.”
That was not a sustainable source of pressure because, in a sense, I won, and my bio now reads like the kind I used to envy. I still work very hard, but I only have the positive desire to achieve, rather than the negative desire to escape a feeling of mediocrity.
In high school, I played hours of video games every week. That’s unimaginable to me now.
My freshman year, I spent most of the day every Saturday hanging out with board game club. Now that seems insanely decadent.