This is a good point to launch from. Suppose it is true that there is no objective ‘better’, so that the universe is no more improved by me changing it in ways that I think are better or by the pebble-sorter making things more prime, than either of us doing nothing or not existing. Then I find I don’t place any value on whether we are subjectively improving the universe in our different ways, doing nothing or not existing. All of these things would be equivalently useless.
Have a look at Eliezer’s posts on morality and perhaps ‘subjectively objective’. (But also consider Adelene’s suggestion on looking into whether your dissociation is the result of a neurological or psychological state that you could benefit from fixing.)
For what it’s worth, I understand that this value I’m lacking—to persist in caring about my subjective values even if they’re not objectively substantiated—is a subjective value.
Meanwhile I think you do, in fact, have this subjective measure. Not because you must for any philosophical reason but because your behaviour and descriptions indicate that you do subjectively care about your subjective value. Even thought you don’t think you do. To put it another way, your subjective values are objective facts about the state of the universe and your part thereof and I believe you are wrong about them.
Have a look at Eliezer’s posts on morality and perhaps ‘subjectively objective’. (But also consider Adelene’s suggestion on looking into whether your dissociation is the result of a neurological or psychological state that you could benefit from fixing.)
Meanwhile I think you do, in fact, have this subjective measure. Not because you must for any philosophical reason but because your behaviour and descriptions indicate that you do subjectively care about your subjective value. Even thought you don’t think you do. To put it another way, your subjective values are objective facts about the state of the universe and your part thereof and I believe you are wrong about them.