Girls I usually date know how ‘compliance’ works, in some cases probably better than I do.
“Hey, can you hold my purse for a sec?” Never heard that before.
I don’t push back and play the game of establishing a balance between dominance and flexibility.
You have to know when to put your foot down, and when to back off and listen to her. And she judges you on your ability to figure out what sort of response is appropriate.
As you correctly observe, it’s probably woefully naive to believe that women don’t realize what going on when men try to take charge of interactions. The gender roles are well-known. What PUAs call “compliance testing” is just yet another of these status and power tug-of-wars that neurotypical, normally socialized people do all the frickin’ time, yet if you put it into words, it suddenly becomes eeeevil.
Yes, I think it’s fascinating that a lot of typical human social and mating behavior sounds eeeevil when it’s articulated to the homo hypocriticus folks who already do such behavior, and to the geeky folks who don’t. But that really isn’t the fault of PUAs, and I’m tired of them being made the whipping boys of the dislike of geeky people for broader social norms, and of the hypocrisy of non-geeky people.
You have to know when to put your foot down, and when to back off and listen to her. And she judges you on your ability to figure out what sort of response is appropriate.
This at times can lead to a somewhat ironic situation. One must at times submit to acting accordance to a model of what will appear dominant to her. Doing that which is labelled ‘independent’, ‘have a strong personality’ and ‘know what you want’ sometimes means doing what could be considered approximately the opposite of the literal interpretations of those words. It’s a case where doing what she wants even if you don’t want to is what is needed to not be considered supplicating and ‘nice’ when usually the reverse is true.
(Of course it is usually not worth making the above observation—exceptions in and ironic implications of fundamental rules tends to just confuse people.)
I’ve noticed that irony myself. If a guy takes charge in way that he isn’t terribly enthusiastic about, because the woman wants him to take charge so she can judge him on his ability to do so… who is really in charge?
I mentioned to a female friend that I sometimes felt like I was being deliberately put off-balance by attractive women, and that sometimes it irritated me.
Her response?
“Oh yeah. It’s Sexual Power, I use it all the time.”
“Hey, can you hold my purse for a sec?” Never heard that before.
You have to know when to put your foot down, and when to back off and listen to her. And she judges you on your ability to figure out what sort of response is appropriate.
As you correctly observe, it’s probably woefully naive to believe that women don’t realize what going on when men try to take charge of interactions. The gender roles are well-known. What PUAs call “compliance testing” is just yet another of these status and power tug-of-wars that neurotypical, normally socialized people do all the frickin’ time, yet if you put it into words, it suddenly becomes eeeevil.
Yes, I think it’s fascinating that a lot of typical human social and mating behavior sounds eeeevil when it’s articulated to the homo hypocriticus folks who already do such behavior, and to the geeky folks who don’t. But that really isn’t the fault of PUAs, and I’m tired of them being made the whipping boys of the dislike of geeky people for broader social norms, and of the hypocrisy of non-geeky people.
As a wise man once said: DHTP,HTG.
This at times can lead to a somewhat ironic situation. One must at times submit to acting accordance to a model of what will appear dominant to her. Doing that which is labelled ‘independent’, ‘have a strong personality’ and ‘know what you want’ sometimes means doing what could be considered approximately the opposite of the literal interpretations of those words. It’s a case where doing what she wants even if you don’t want to is what is needed to not be considered supplicating and ‘nice’ when usually the reverse is true.
(Of course it is usually not worth making the above observation—exceptions in and ironic implications of fundamental rules tends to just confuse people.)
I’ve noticed that irony myself. If a guy takes charge in way that he isn’t terribly enthusiastic about, because the woman wants him to take charge so she can judge him on his ability to do so… who is really in charge?
I mentioned to a female friend that I sometimes felt like I was being deliberately put off-balance by attractive women, and that sometimes it irritated me.
Her response?
“Oh yeah. It’s Sexual Power, I use it all the time.”
dihydrotestosterone propionate (DHTP)? I haven’t tried that one yet. Long term use tends to promote testicular shrinkage.