The most surprising essay—she talks about the bacon deficiency economy in which restaurants never give you enough bacon, so she cooks and eats four pounds of bacon to be sure she has enough—used to be online, but doesn’t seem to be there any more.
I will tentatively recommend her books to any of the men here who can’t seem to figure out why things keep blowing up when they write about sex, since it seems to me that they have a blank spot in their model of the universe about women having desires and making choices. She’s quite emphatic about the inside of her head.
I’m making massive efforts not to blame the guys—I have some scary blind spots myself, including one that I was at least past 35 before I realized I had. It turned out that I believed women had emotions and men had desires. That is, I believed men wanted things and women had reactions to getting or not getting what they wanted.
What clued me into the blind spot was noticing that men had facial expressions which seemed to indicate emotional reactions, and that I was surprised by this.
Possibly relevant: I was born in 1953-- I hope things were more stereotyped then than they are now, but I don’t think things have completely changed.
any of the men here who can’t seem to figure out why things keep blowing up when they write about sex, since it seems to me that they have a blank spot in their model of the universe about women having desires and making choices.
Since I made the comment that initiated this latest mini-flare-up, I feel the need to make it clear that I am not myself in that category. I see the non-alignment of desires among humans as a general problem, of which the sex issues discussed above are merely one particular manifestation.
Possibly relevant: I was born in 1953
I had actually gotten the impression that you were older than is typical here; and on thinking about it, I suspect it had to do with your first name (which was a lot more popular at around that time than 20-40 years later).
I see the non-alignment of desires among humans as a general problem, of which the sex issues discussed above are merely one particular manifestation.
Grasping that non-alignment is a general problem is an important start, but I don’t think it’s the same as understanding what a specific non-alignment is.
Amazon’s first pages look interesting—any chance you have an e-copy? Bittorrent is proving useless.
Google has most of the book—all but the last two chapters. I have a paper copy.
Her Sex and Bacon: Why I Love Things that Are Very, Very Bad for Me is likewise amazing.
The most surprising essay—she talks about the bacon deficiency economy in which restaurants never give you enough bacon, so she cooks and eats four pounds of bacon to be sure she has enough—used to be online, but doesn’t seem to be there any more.
I will tentatively recommend her books to any of the men here who can’t seem to figure out why things keep blowing up when they write about sex, since it seems to me that they have a blank spot in their model of the universe about women having desires and making choices. She’s quite emphatic about the inside of her head.
I’m making massive efforts not to blame the guys—I have some scary blind spots myself, including one that I was at least past 35 before I realized I had. It turned out that I believed women had emotions and men had desires. That is, I believed men wanted things and women had reactions to getting or not getting what they wanted.
What clued me into the blind spot was noticing that men had facial expressions which seemed to indicate emotional reactions, and that I was surprised by this.
Possibly relevant: I was born in 1953-- I hope things were more stereotyped then than they are now, but I don’t think things have completely changed.
Since I made the comment that initiated this latest mini-flare-up, I feel the need to make it clear that I am not myself in that category. I see the non-alignment of desires among humans as a general problem, of which the sex issues discussed above are merely one particular manifestation.
I had actually gotten the impression that you were older than is typical here; and on thinking about it, I suspect it had to do with your first name (which was a lot more popular at around that time than 20-40 years later).
Grasping that non-alignment is a general problem is an important start, but I don’t think it’s the same as understanding what a specific non-alignment is.
It looks like p. 28-333 are not included.
Apologies—I trusted that the chapter links in the drop-down menu meant the chapters were there.
Old comments, but I used to know the author and I feel I should pimp for her—pardon the pun.