Very well said. I made similar points in twoposts I made a while back.
Excerpt from #1
if you knew about someone having trouble selling a good product, and you took pity on them, one way you would probably not react is by approaching a group of such people and lecturing them in detail about all the unethical practices they shouldn’t do, most of which only apply long after a sale, and many of which are commonly used by successful salespeople in a way that satisfies their customers.
Excerpt from #2:
one should anticipate that if I’m following the real female wants and expectations, and am an eligible, attractive male by conventional measures, that it should lead to some non-trivial fraction of these women developing interest. When none of them do, and when women flock in droves, full of desire, to the very same men who steamroll right over the rules I learned, and who appear to be extremely disrespectful toward women … well, that’s very strong evidence that I was not correctly taught what women do and don’t want.
It’s remarkable that you keep harping on this like you’re being oppressed here, and the comments of yours that you linked to are highly upvoted, and the comment of Alicorn’s that you link to is highly downvoted.
It’s also remarkable to me that you can consistently come across as a complete asshole and still require an explanation as to why you don’t have success in interpersonal relationships. If I ever do find myself in the unlikely position of publishing a formal list of rules for success in dating, I’ll be sure to include “1. Don’t be Silas” so there’s no further confusion.
Where do I come across as an asshole, and what corresponding assholish actions do you infer I do in my interpersonal relationships, including dating, based on them?
Are you really claiming that Alicorn doesn’t get too much support for her unreasonable request that I not post any comment nested under hers?
Are you really claiming that Alicorn doesn’t get too much support for her unreasonable request that I not post any comment nested under hers?
No, I was not claiming that. I was implying that Alicorn’s comment complaining about your behavior being downvoted and your comments being upvoted are evidence that you won that particular status contest here.
But I’ll also go ahead and claim that Alicorn doesn’t get too much support for her request that you not post any comment nested under hers. Votes, again, are some evidence there.
And I will further claim that the request was not unreasonable. You are a very distressing person to receive communcations from, and I would not think anyone was being untoward for requesting anything up to and including you not communicating with anyone ever. Obviously, it might behoove you to decline such a request, as is your right.
Where do I come across as an asshole, and what corresponding assholish actions do you infer I do in my interpersonal relationships, including dating, based on them?
As for the first, you’ve received a great deal of advice on this matter in the past, and I’ve not the energy to spell it out at the moment in great detail. But in the above comment, here is one example:
(These were acts of terrorism back then, too.)
“acts of terrorism” is uncharitable at best; you’re specifically referring to the attitudes people have towards your comments, using what I hope is supposed to be extreme hyperbole (I don’t think, for instance, anyone actually called the Department of Homeland Security about you).
“too” implies that there are readers who are currently taking these things to be “acts of terrorism”.
And you’re linking multiple times to a discussion that was specifically unpleasant for many of the people involved (and you frequently do so).
For the second, I’m not even sure what you mean… I take you being an asshole in interpersonal relationships (communicating with people on blogs and via youtube videos) to be evidence that you are the sort of person who will be an asshole in interpersonal relationships—I don’t see the need to infer any further actions, as that is sufficient for me to prefer you not interact with myself or let you near my friends or my stuff, and imagine any sane person you were attempting to date would feel similarly.
Of course, I’m hardly a paragon of niceitude in this particular subthread.
If you have a reason to give a sudden lecture about my general not-niceness and deservingness of poor treatment, please take it to PM or email. You can contact me at sbarta at gmail.
If you want to instead provoke a nasty, public fight in which we recount each others’ past wrongs, then continue as you are.
Indeed, (I don’t know why your comment was downvoted) we’ve had this conversation before and ranting at you in a public forum serves nobody. I have a note on my desk reminding me that adderall increases hostility (just in case I’m flying off the handle), but apparently I need to locate it more prominently.
Very well said. I made similar points in two posts I made a while back.
Excerpt from #1
Excerpt from #2:
(These were acts of terrorism back then, too.)
It’s remarkable that you keep harping on this like you’re being oppressed here, and the comments of yours that you linked to are highly upvoted, and the comment of Alicorn’s that you link to is highly downvoted.
It’s also remarkable to me that you can consistently come across as a complete asshole and still require an explanation as to why you don’t have success in interpersonal relationships. If I ever do find myself in the unlikely position of publishing a formal list of rules for success in dating, I’ll be sure to include “1. Don’t be Silas” so there’s no further confusion.
Where do I come across as an asshole, and what corresponding assholish actions do you infer I do in my interpersonal relationships, including dating, based on them?
Are you really claiming that Alicorn doesn’t get too much support for her unreasonable request that I not post any comment nested under hers?
No, I was not claiming that. I was implying that Alicorn’s comment complaining about your behavior being downvoted and your comments being upvoted are evidence that you won that particular status contest here.
But I’ll also go ahead and claim that Alicorn doesn’t get too much support for her request that you not post any comment nested under hers. Votes, again, are some evidence there.
And I will further claim that the request was not unreasonable. You are a very distressing person to receive communcations from, and I would not think anyone was being untoward for requesting anything up to and including you not communicating with anyone ever. Obviously, it might behoove you to decline such a request, as is your right.
As for the first, you’ve received a great deal of advice on this matter in the past, and I’ve not the energy to spell it out at the moment in great detail. But in the above comment, here is one example:
“acts of terrorism” is uncharitable at best; you’re specifically referring to the attitudes people have towards your comments, using what I hope is supposed to be extreme hyperbole (I don’t think, for instance, anyone actually called the Department of Homeland Security about you).
“too” implies that there are readers who are currently taking these things to be “acts of terrorism”.
And you’re linking multiple times to a discussion that was specifically unpleasant for many of the people involved (and you frequently do so).
For the second, I’m not even sure what you mean… I take you being an asshole in interpersonal relationships (communicating with people on blogs and via youtube videos) to be evidence that you are the sort of person who will be an asshole in interpersonal relationships—I don’t see the need to infer any further actions, as that is sufficient for me to prefer you not interact with myself or let you near my friends or my stuff, and imagine any sane person you were attempting to date would feel similarly.
Of course, I’m hardly a paragon of niceitude in this particular subthread.
If you have a reason to give a sudden lecture about my general not-niceness and deservingness of poor treatment, please take it to PM or email. You can contact me at sbarta at gmail.
If you want to instead provoke a nasty, public fight in which we recount each others’ past wrongs, then continue as you are.
Indeed, (I don’t know why your comment was downvoted) we’ve had this conversation before and ranting at you in a public forum serves nobody. I have a note on my desk reminding me that adderall increases hostility (just in case I’m flying off the handle), but apparently I need to locate it more prominently.
Thanks.
Well, at least I got some honest feedback, which is rare. “In adderallo veritas”?