I have two hypotheses; first, most of my social-interaction-hours growing up were spent with adults. As a result I got (I think) very good at impressing adults, but pretty much didn’t understand my peers at all.
Incidentally, I suspect that it would be great if most kids spent most of their time interacting only with adults, so that when they did meet each other kids, much of the painful conflict and pointless costly signaling associated with typical teenage years could just be skipped over.
Hm. I was going to say that I don’t think that policy will have that effect—but after a bit of thought, I’m not quite sure if I know what you mean by “painful conflict and pointless costly signaling associated with typical teenage years.” Can you give an example?
Things like smoking and excessive drinking for the sake of showing that you’re Cool and Rebellious for doing the exact things that the adults say you shouldn’t do, for example. It’s easy to see why that kind of behavior might emerge in an environment where other kids your age are your ingroup that you want to impress, and adults are the outgroup that you can attack in order to distinguish yourself. But if adults were actually the ingroup you were trying to impress, it seems like people would be more likely to try to impress them by actually acting more mature, and that “maturity is high status” would carry over even to the more limited interactions they had with folks their own age.
I see. I guess I am an example in favor of your theory. I’m not entirely sure that this is an unambiguously good thing, though, because sometimes you should impress your peers in ways adults would not approve. Or, to put it another way, the optimal balance of grown-up-ness and fun shouldn’t have a factor of 0 for either category...
(I suppose if the adults were never wrong about classifying things as fun-but-harmful, then I’d change my mind.)
Incidentally, I suspect that it would be great if most kids spent most of their time interacting only with adults, so that when they did meet each other kids, much of the painful conflict and pointless costly signaling associated with typical teenage years could just be skipped over.
Hm. I was going to say that I don’t think that policy will have that effect—but after a bit of thought, I’m not quite sure if I know what you mean by “painful conflict and pointless costly signaling associated with typical teenage years.” Can you give an example?
...maybe this supports your point...
Things like smoking and excessive drinking for the sake of showing that you’re Cool and Rebellious for doing the exact things that the adults say you shouldn’t do, for example. It’s easy to see why that kind of behavior might emerge in an environment where other kids your age are your ingroup that you want to impress, and adults are the outgroup that you can attack in order to distinguish yourself. But if adults were actually the ingroup you were trying to impress, it seems like people would be more likely to try to impress them by actually acting more mature, and that “maturity is high status” would carry over even to the more limited interactions they had with folks their own age.
I see. I guess I am an example in favor of your theory. I’m not entirely sure that this is an unambiguously good thing, though, because sometimes you should impress your peers in ways adults would not approve. Or, to put it another way, the optimal balance of grown-up-ness and fun shouldn’t have a factor of 0 for either category...
(I suppose if the adults were never wrong about classifying things as fun-but-harmful, then I’d change my mind.)