That other character you were messing around with might be just the thing you need. Too bad you didn’t explore that, you were “playing to win.”
The Karmic justice of it all is that love of the game really does count for something. Those who love the game play it to play it. They mess around. They pick strange characters, try strange tactics, face others who do the same, and they learn the secret knowledge. Those who play only to win can’t be bothered with any of that. Every minute they spend playing goes toward climbing their current peak, attaining their local maximum.
It’s possible I would have encountered some of this when I used to read game design theory like a decade ago.
Here’s one where he acknowledges a tradeoff between winning now and winning long term https://www.sirlin.net/ptw-book/love-of-the-game-not-playing-to-win