The demons told me that there is a hell for the sentimental and the pedantic. They are abandoned in an endless palace, more empty than full, and windowless. The condemned walk about as if searching for something, and, as we might expect, they soon begin to say that the greatest torment consists in not participating in the vision of God, that moral suffering is worse than physical suffering, and so on. Then the demons hurl them into the sea of fire, from where no one will ever take them out.
‘Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don’t eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting “Gotcha”. It wouldn’t have made any difference if they hadn’t eaten it.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because if you’re dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won’t give up. They’ll get you in the end.’
They say that God created the world in a week didn’t they? That’s way too irresponsible. If he did create the world, surely he made some comment like ‘This isn’t something I would’ve made.’ or perhaps ‘Hold on! It’s not done yet!’
The condemned walk about as if searching for something, and, as we might expect, they soon begin to say that the greatest torment consists in not participating in the vision of God, that moral suffering is worse than physical suffering, and so on
Why don’t they just play tag with each other? Sounds like it would be fun.
Indeed. The kind of people who would go “Whee! Let’s play tag!” in this situation do not find themselves in Hell (at least in this particular one) in the first place.
Adolfo Bioy Casares (my translation)
-- Douglas Adams
~ Sca-自 Subarashiki Hibi ~Discontinuous Existence~ (personal translation)
Why don’t they just play tag with each other? Sounds like it would be fun.
Because they’re jerks.
Indeed. The kind of people who would go “Whee! Let’s play tag!” in this situation do not find themselves in Hell (at least in this particular one) in the first place.