I think there’s something to that, but it’s not that general. For example, some people can be very kind to others but harsh with themselves. Some people can be cruel to others but lenient to themselves.
Even if the behavior itself seems vastly different, that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t just different instances of the same “social program”. For example, if you’re “kind” to others but harsh with yourself, it might be because you don’t know how to hold people accountable without being harsh, and correctly predict that you wouldn’t be able to get away with it with other people (but where are you going to go if you don’t like yourself?).
Even if the behavior itself seems vastly different, that doesn’t necessarily mean they aren’t just different instances of the same “social program”. For example, if you’re “kind” to others but harsh with yourself, it might be because you don’t know how to hold people accountable without being harsh, and correctly predict that you wouldn’t be able to get away with it with other people (but where are you going to go if you don’t like yourself?).